a first mist in fall - pipTalk Forums

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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2004-10-17 03:18 AM

less             than
             mist

specks           cool
            touch

     light    as
                   stars

  along         my
            skin

too      few
       to        moisten

    even           this
                air

they       whisper

      of
                 fall

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2004-10-17 03:46 AM

So beautiful in presentation and words. Fall's first touch is impalpable ... but we know it's there.
Love, Margherita

jennirey
Member

since 2002-01-24

Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx

2 posted 2004-10-17 08:53 AM

I can realy see it.. Loved your presentation.

Jen

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-10-17 09:33 AM

This is really beautiful...great imagery!
Your words float down the page like autumn leaves.
Hugs~Nancy

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

4 posted 2004-10-17 09:53 AM

Its cool to watch the Autumn mist rising off the river, shot through with sun.

something like this, no?

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2004-10-17 10:08 AM

Yes...and to feel the touch of it, just random on your skin...droplets too small to see, tiny stars of sensation that tell you change is on the way and soon their big brothers will follow....as they did last night.

That's a unique part of living here in this desert -- when the seasons do change, they do so either violently with big blank-faced winds, or so gently you won't notice unless you're a poet.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2004-10-17 10:34 AM

Your poem, and your comment, wrap up this gift very well...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2004-10-17 10:41 AM

Ratleader
No mist or speck but cool delight.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2004-10-17 11:54 AM

Ed

A lovely feel, the mist....but not as lovely as the feel of this poem!

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

9 posted 2004-10-17 12:02 PM

yes, nice - no mist here - but I have seen snow already

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

10 posted 2004-10-17 12:49 PM

mmmmmmm I can feel this...

anticipation...

K

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

11 posted 2004-10-17 02:20 PM

elegant, l@ved the presentation

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

12 posted 2004-10-18 04:39 PM

When presentation and poem are so intricately woven that one is the other... you've made magic. *S* This is incredibly beautiful... I would say I'd love to see... but... I just did. *S*

And your response... My friend, you ARE poetry... writing it even when you aren't writing it! *S*

vandana