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Open Poetry #33
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Ratleader
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0 posted 2004-10-17 03:18 AM



  

less             than
             mist

specks           cool
            touch

     light    as
                   stars

  along         my
            skin

too      few
       to        moisten

    even           this
                air

they       whisper

      of
                 fall

© Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2004-10-17 03:46 AM


So beautiful in presentation and words. Fall's first touch is impalpable ... but we know it's there.
Love, Margherita

jennirey
Member
since 2002-01-24
Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx
2 posted 2004-10-17 08:53 AM


I can realy see it.. Loved your presentation.

Jen

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-10-17 09:33 AM


This is really beautiful...great imagery!
Your words float down the page like autumn leaves.
Hugs~Nancy


~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2004-10-17 09:53 AM


Its cool to watch the Autumn mist rising off the river, shot through with sun.

something like this, no?

Ratleader
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5 posted 2004-10-17 10:08 AM


Yes...and to feel the touch of it, just random on your skin...droplets too small to see, tiny stars of sensation that tell you change is on the way and soon their big brothers will follow....as they did last night.

That's a unique part of living here in this desert -- when the seasons do change, they do so either violently with big blank-faced winds, or so gently you won't notice unless you're a poet.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-10-17 10:34 AM


Your poem, and your comment, wrap up this gift very well...
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2004-10-17 10:41 AM


Ratleader
No mist or speck but cool delight.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2004-10-17 11:54 AM


Ed

A lovely feel, the mist....but not as lovely as the feel of this poem!  

Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

9 posted 2004-10-17 12:02 PM


yes, nice - no mist here - but I have seen snow already
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

10 posted 2004-10-17 12:49 PM


mmmmmmm I can feel this...

anticipation...

K

Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2004-10-17 02:20 PM


elegant, l@ved the presentation
suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2004-10-18 04:39 PM


When presentation and poem are so intricately woven that one is the other... you've made magic. *S* This is incredibly beautiful... I would say I'd love to see... but... I just did. *S*

And your response... My friend, you ARE poetry... writing it even when you aren't writing it! *S*

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2004-10-18 04:41 PM


nice write
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2004-10-18 06:14 PM


Lovely indeed and the presentation? Bellisimo!

Well Done Mr Rat

and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between

~ani difranco~

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2004-10-18 07:23 PM


wow....
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
16 posted 2004-10-18 07:30 PM


The form alone is amazing, Ed and it left me with the feeling of running beneath a sprinkler . . . *smile*
Greeneyes
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since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind
17 posted 2004-10-18 09:18 PM


Ed

I am in such awe of this what a splendid write....so vivid....with just the right touch of whisper.....

~~*~~
Read between the lines
look deep into each word
and you will understand the
depth of my soul (GE)
~~**~~

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
18 posted 2004-10-18 09:51 PM


There is something so very romantic about the mist of autumn and a cool breeze.

I loved this.  hugs, Marti

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
–St. Francis of Assisi

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