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Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

0 posted 2004-10-12 10:47 PM

It was warm for October,
the moon was new
and something
about the night
called back her silhouette,
the brief glow of ember
as she drew
on a cigarette,
and contemplation
of the doorframe
she leaned
against.

I envied them all

the white to her black,
the meet of her need,
the rest for her shoulder.

A futile desire
but for the occasional
violet it lends my pen

then, as now

a whisper of rhyme
and scream of beauty

still tempting

still just beyond
my reach.

Elan
Member

since 2002-05-03

Posts 382
State of Wide Eye

1 posted 2004-10-12 10:56 PM

When you come back to poem
you come back with

style.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2004-10-12 11:33 PM

I saw her! Wow, that is really something - yes sir it sure is.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2004-10-12 11:34 PM

Got yer self a bad case of short-arm, do ya?
yessir, I know this affliction too.

Very nicely written friend Duncan!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2004-10-13 08:22 AM

I envied them all

the white to her black,
the meet of her need,
the rest for her shoulder.

A futile desire
but for the occasional
violet it lends my pen

then, as now

a whisper of rhyme
and scream of beauty

still tempting

still just beyond
my reach.
===============================

MY OH MY.....
Im going to take the "shes" and turn them into "hes" and then pretend I wrote this because I WISH I HAD WROTE THIS!!!!!

Awesome poetic capture of a polariod moment...very very cool write Dunc....

the occasional
violet it lends my pen

that part is just so perfect....

another keeper... and I will.

I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

~Fluent~
John O'Donohue

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (10-13-2004 08:56 AM).]

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

5 posted 2004-10-13 08:29 AM

wonderful articulation...sculpting want, desire...sentuality...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2004-10-13 09:07 AM

.....Damn!

Need I say more?

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2004-10-13 09:12 AM

violet light from your pen

nice, very very nice

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2004-10-13 09:17 AM

"a whisper of rhyme
and scream of beauty

still tempting

still just beyond
my reach."

This is a concept for me because they are just out of sight...

Duncan this is beauty in its rawest, most real form...and longing in the purest human form.

Reading you makes me happy.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Alicethruglass
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 368

9 posted 2004-10-13 09:39 AM

A futile desire
but for the occasional
violet it lends my pen

then, as now

a whisper of rhyme
and scream of beauty

still tempting

still just beyond
my reach.
always just beyond the reach~~

~A~

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2004-10-13 10:45 AM

nice read

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

11 posted 2004-10-13 10:53 AM

ahhh the allure of sexy silhouettes...lovely..

**babygirL**

quatro
Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 392
Galveston, Texas

12 posted 2004-10-13 01:36 PM

So wonderfully poetic and amorous.

quatro

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

13 posted 2004-10-14 08:54 AM

called back her silhouette,
the brief glow of ember
as she drew
on a cigarette,
===========================

oh and...the moth didnt miss the rhyme in this.

remember a long time ago-- that poem i wrote..
something about "being jealous of his cigarette" ...

(thank god for computer crashes)

LMAO....

I envied them all

the white to her black,
the meet of her need,

Well this was what I was trying to say...
I just couldnt distill it and make is so danged cool.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

14 posted 2004-10-14 11:34 AM

Just because today is a good day to bump it.

and because I love it.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

15 posted 2004-10-14 12:34 PM

Duncan ... This is lovely. Bob

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

16 posted 2004-10-14 12:45 PM

Duncan

"still just beyond
my reach."

The words, certainly are not!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

17 posted 2004-10-14 01:37 PM

Extremely beautiful writing.

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

18 posted 2004-10-14 02:07 PM

Hey Duncan ... my tiger wanted you to know that she really liked this wonderful spill of thoughts you penned. Quite good at putting some ink to those moments aren't you? I too enjoyed it but I have a feeling what is just out of reach for you now will soon be up in your lap. Excellent write and the flow superb. Not bad for a porch puppy!!!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

19 posted 2004-10-15 10:50 PM

the white to her black,
the meet of her need,
the rest for her shoulder

Beautiful October sky of sigh,
and how I choose to remember it.

Happy Birthday, almost!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

20 posted 2004-10-16 08:38 AM

*Inspired by this poem....because IWIHWT..
but instead I wrote this??? lmao

Hey...its your birthday..so i TRIED to Dunc-distill.

Distance ...
like the desert,
taunts the mind
and haunts the heart.

Memoir mirages rise
on the horizon.

Smoke and sand silhouette
ghosts, reminders of all
that I miss most.

Your smile ...
and my wish to be
it's reason.

Your eyes ...
and my reflection
in them.

Your hands ...
and my want to
be bronzed by them.

Images branded on time
as I slow burn in all
that the distance denies.

And the irony found in
seasons circle in change,
the sun falls in flames,
the sea rolls in reclaim,
still, your scent remains.

Moth Memories...
Chesapeake Bay/2002
Forever September

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

21 posted 2004-10-16 08:40 AM

Hey....just be grateful I didnt use that cigarette jealousy line...lmao

Happy Birthday Porch Puppy!!!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

22 posted 2004-10-16 10:02 AM

I see her -- I absolutely see her. Beautifully drawn, this little vignette.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

23 posted 2004-10-16 12:32 PM

Thanks all!!
And thanks for the birthday distill JM!!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

24 posted 2004-10-16 02:57 PM

excellent write Duncan

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

25 posted 2004-10-16 08:20 PM

Did you ever get that dunkin donut I sent you last year? LOL.
I'll drink a glass of wine in your honor tonight, and you can pretend it's a rum and coke.

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