Open Poetry #33 |
As seasons near repeating |
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
It was warm for October, the moon was new and something about the night called back her silhouette, the brief glow of ember as she drew on a cigarette, and contemplation of the doorframe she leaned against. I envied them all the white to her black, the meet of her need, the rest for her shoulder. A futile desire but for the occasional violet it lends my pen then, as now a whisper of rhyme and scream of beauty still tempting still just beyond my reach. |
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© Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elan Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382State of Wide Eye |
When you come back to poem you come back with style. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I saw her! Wow, that is really something - yes sir it sure is. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Got yer self a bad case of short-arm, do ya? yessir, I know this affliction too. Very nicely written friend Duncan! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I envied them all the white to her black, the meet of her need, the rest for her shoulder. A futile desire but for the occasional violet it lends my pen then, as now a whisper of rhyme and scream of beauty still tempting still just beyond my reach. =============================== MY OH MY..... Im going to take the "shes" and turn them into "hes" and then pretend I wrote this because I WISH I HAD WROTE THIS!!!!! Awesome poetic capture of a polariod moment...very very cool write Dunc.... the occasional violet it lends my pen that part is just so perfect.... another keeper... and I will. I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. ~Fluent~ John O'Donohue [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (10-13-2004 08:56 AM).] |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wonderful articulation...sculpting want, desire...sentuality... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
.....Damn! Need I say more? ~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~ |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
violet light from your pen nice, very very nice |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"a whisper of rhyme and scream of beauty still tempting still just beyond my reach." This is a concept for me because they are just out of sight... Duncan this is beauty in its rawest, most real form...and longing in the purest human form. Reading you makes me happy. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Alicethruglass Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368 |
A futile desire but for the occasional violet it lends my pen then, as now a whisper of rhyme and scream of beauty still tempting still just beyond my reach. always just beyond the reach~~ ~A~ |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
ahhh the allure of sexy silhouettes...lovely.. **babygirL** |
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quatro Member
since 2003-04-29
Posts 392Galveston, Texas |
So wonderfully poetic and amorous. quatro |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
called back her silhouette, the brief glow of ember as she drew on a cigarette, =========================== oh and...the moth didnt miss the rhyme in this. remember a long time ago-- that poem i wrote.. something about "being jealous of his cigarette" ... (thank god for computer crashes) LMAO.... I envied them all the white to her black, the meet of her need, Well this was what I was trying to say... I just couldnt distill it and make is so danged cool. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Just because today is a good day to bump it. and because I love it. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Duncan ... This is lovely. Bob |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan "still just beyond my reach." The words, certainly are not! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Extremely beautiful writing. The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Hey Duncan ... my tiger wanted you to know that she really liked this wonderful spill of thoughts you penned. Quite good at putting some ink to those moments aren't you? I too enjoyed it but I have a feeling what is just out of reach for you now will soon be up in your lap. Excellent write and the flow superb. Not bad for a porch puppy!!! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
the white to her black, the meet of her need, the rest for her shoulder Beautiful October sky of sigh, and how I choose to remember it. Happy Birthday, almost! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*Inspired by this poem....because IWIHWT.. but instead I wrote this??? lmao Hey...its your birthday..so i TRIED to Dunc-distill. Distance ... like the desert, taunts the mind and haunts the heart. Memoir mirages rise on the horizon. Smoke and sand silhouette ghosts, reminders of all that I miss most. Your smile ... and my wish to be it's reason. Your eyes ... and my reflection in them. Your hands ... and my want to be bronzed by them. Images branded on time as I slow burn in all that the distance denies. And the irony found in seasons circle in change, the sun falls in flames, the sea rolls in reclaim, still, your scent remains. Moth Memories... Chesapeake Bay/2002 Forever September |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Hey....just be grateful I didnt use that cigarette jealousy line...lmao Happy Birthday Porch Puppy!!! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I see her -- I absolutely see her. Beautifully drawn, this little vignette. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Thanks all!! And thanks for the birthday distill JM!! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
excellent write Duncan |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Did you ever get that dunkin donut I sent you last year? LOL. I'll drink a glass of wine in your honor tonight, and you can pretend it's a rum and coke. |
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