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Open Poetry #33
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Autumn Leaf
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Autumn Leaf |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
Autumn Leaf The hum of a hearbeat mingling with the night's heat falling away like an autumn leaf dying away, softly asleep the sun was brand new the morning wet with dew the dying heartbeat inside our sighing, weeping tides washing over a short precious moment a moment shorter than a breath of air The loss of a heartbeat silence in midday's heat fallen away like an autumn leaf floating away from our grief shared between you and me tears of love flowing to the sea treasure those short precious moments moments shorter than a blink of an eye The echo of a heartbeat mingling with our dreams living forever like an autumn leaf painted in our hearts' grief floating inside us for all time joining together heartbeats to start again, like a spring leaf moments that have been moments to be longer than our love burning inside "Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey |
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| © Copyright 2004 Zach Hilgefort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
S.D. Love can be aligned with the falling of leaves...trees once green, seem to wither and die when they lose their leaves..as does the human spirit when faced with rejection. But see now, as leaves fall, what is left behind... Hope resides on tips of branches, those buds are like still beating hearts, and even if rain or tears makes them seem dark and foul, they will thrive once again in the right climate..and once again flourish and be beautiful.... This is what this poem said to me....enjoyed reading it ---------ice/ford ><> |
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Contabo Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159 |
I'm a sucker for "autumn" poems. This one, I think, is on the right track. If it were me, I would rewrite, rewrite and then think about a rewrite. You have a good poem in you here. Contabo |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
"moments that have been moments to be longer than our love burning inside" this is just lovely...the angst of the seasons, deftly painted... **babygirL** |
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