Passing Beyond The Catalyst

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2004-07-09 01:12 PM

The simple thoughts
seem to bring the greatest understandings,
to me,
especially in my dreams;
for instance,
there will never be another moment
in this too long life of mine
when I am soaking in the sense
of breathing the same existence
again,
in the unique clarity
which always comes
with two minds,
two souls,
so intertwined
the boundary of self is long lost to both,
when sharing the same air
with the care of knowing
the pause between a touch
is simply space to smile leading to another touch.
So,
every day I have to ask,
why do I live?
After all,
I do.
...from biological reflex?
...for the knowledge yet to gain?
...to test my limits of endurance?
...to weigh my tolerance for social toxins?
...to gauge my awareness,
or to strengthen my grasp
of serendipity and happenstance?
Sure,
life becomes a habit
and the world still offers joy;
it is a rare day
when I don't learn something,
when I can't choose to build scenarios
out of other people's dreams,
for distraction,
to exercise some ploy
creating puppets
in a play I don't enjoy.
It is a common day to be aware
of what is missing.
In the years in which I sought understanding,
I acted as if knowing really mattered;
I have hunted treasures
with the same distance in my heart
as hunting men,
no joy in the prize
the puzzle merely exercise
and the slight delight of walking on alive,
but on to where?
Is there a charity
where I can give all that was not taken,
where the pockets of my soul
can be completely shaken free
of every coin unspent,
of every debt earned by living with intent?
I reached a point,
some years ago
when I realized,
I harbor neither wish to die
nor the need to live.

©2004 by icebox

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2004-07-09 01:41 PM

icebox

Your poem caused me to remember this that you wrote to me:

"Naked souls touching
Chains are smoke in cleansing wind
Souls touched touch again"

*hug*

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2004-07-09 03:13 PM

it is a rare day
when I don't learn something,

~*~

Amen.

Every day...there IS something new to know...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2004-07-09 03:17 PM

every line has meaning to me today...

M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2004-07-09 06:12 PM

nodding...

I struggle daily with questions--"Am I supposed to learn how to stay or learn how to leave?"

and it just now occurred to me that either could rationalize my mood.

y'always wind up me noggin, you.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2004-07-09 09:54 PM

"In the years in which I sought understanding,
I acted as if knowing really mattered;
I have hunted treasures
with the same distance in my heart
as hunting men,
no joy in the prize
the puzzle merely exercise
and the slight delight of walking on alive,
but on to where?"

Geez, what kind of comment can I put here.... "the puzzle merely exercise" -- "slight delight" ... sounds like a bored genius to me, but then again, I really don't think geniuses get bored, depressed maybe, but not bored. The slight delight thing.... an idea is that once a person reaches a certain point in spiritual development, emotions/heart no longer rule .... so a person feels detached and outside of himself. At that point, perhaps, then I understand why a person would have no desire to die and no desire to live. But, then again... who knows. Obviously, I enjoyed the exercise here. Take care.......jo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-07-11 04:29 AM

I guess they were right about keeping things simple

takes some of us awhile to learn that

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

7 posted 2004-07-12 12:57 PM

icebox, you leave loads of food for thought within this piece. perhaps i havent lived long enough; that's why i can't relate to some of the intent expressed here. but i will save this in my library so that i may ponder upon it and Life in the future. thanks for writing this

with the care of knowing
the pause between a touch
is simply space to smile leading to another touch.
~i thought these were awesome lines

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2004-07-12 01:06 PM

You choose and place every word perfectly..
another awesome write sir.
Thank you.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

9 posted 2004-07-12 03:51 PM

"why do I live?"

Good question that I ask myself at times..

But I guess I know in my heart there is a reason. I have found in this life that my main role seems to be one of a listener rather than a talker..

So I have to believe that I remain because there is still someone, somewhere I need to listen to.

I love ya Icy!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.