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Open Poetry #33
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Chewing Tinfoil
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Chewing Tinfoil |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain 
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chewing tinfoil blue room mood peeling scales, layer by skinless sliver corner hugging madness chewing tinfoil while you cling to the ceiling in the abstract fall till breath and hook rip and stroke the flesh holding pearls that you ripped while you rape my warhol mind between the scenes of your next death of manhate we, of mounds and moans cleave and thrust stop to start ... a disease of trust where the black of my blood drips for you lick your knees my pleasure and we, grab the moon simply to milk the heavens ©sdt'04 aug 25 |
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| © Copyright 2004 Snow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I don't know what to say here |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
Hey Snow, This is quite interesting and very abstract. Or at least I think its abstract. It is though a very interesting read. :-) |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
yep, very abstract... :-) and it's perfectly OK that no one knows what to say. :-D thanks for reading. snow "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
In some ways, it's a reptilian write, a shedding of sorts. And grabbing the moon "to milk the heavens" adds to this interesting metaphor. Though I may be way, way off the mark, as it IS very abstract. |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
the title alone gives me the shivers , let alone the vivid body of this write , bares all in a darkened light .... moody and creative , like me lol hope you feel better ~wolf |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
Its gripping, powerful. I didn't feel I had to undeerstand it, I was just enthralled by it. |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Hello Snow. Mmm...what to say. First I love this poem. It is not abstract to my way of thinking. Why? LOL! Well you see I see it as sort of a mental patient's train of thought. The words are the unspoken things that are locked in the mind. I know but I just can't help seeing that image. I think it is the title that sent my mind off in that direction. Believe it or not. I use to ride the bus back and forth to college...and it just so happens it stopped at the mental health hospital. One of the daily riders was a patient who had day passes. The guy use to chew the tinfoil, plastic bags, paper...etc that his lunches were packed in. I suppose that is why the poem makes sense to me. LOL. Sorry! Oh...and where is my e-mail? I wrote last. (Wink!) Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Snow! "rip and stroke the flesh holding pearls that you ripped while you rape my warhol mind between the scenes of your next death of manhate" ! ! ! ! ! WOW........jo |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
we, of mounds and moans cleave and thrust stop to start ... a disease of trust where the black of my blood drips for you lick your knees my pleasure and we, grab the moon simply to milk the heavens seems very sensual to me *s M |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Snow, Heck, I'll take a wild guess and say that it's not all that favorable towards the male of the species, and, it made my teeth hurt just reading it. Doc |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I really enjoyed it Snow and I have to tell you it doesn't matter if we understand the where of your coming, however if it takes us on our own journey then it was worth the write. You will laugh where it took me - back to my old job! |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
thank you all for the comments on this piece. :-) |
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