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Open Poetry #33
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Throwing Rocks at Windows
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Throwing Rocks at Windows |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving 
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posted this with some urging on from a certain dark winged one..LOL... ~ ~ ~ de Sade came to play today and I listened to pebbled window sill laughing in the patter of stones striking glass and I hid behind the shear of curtains slightly parted glancing him and his advance how warm the sun invited me to let the air in, breathing the day's dusty embrace and he did have such a pretty face and I smiled, tracing his shadow with my eyes, fingers tightly pulling the hem of summer nearer to me, in-between the echoes of his beckoning and that voice that called to me that cry of misery made suffering seem so free he was so beautiful in his need. and I would run to him if it weren’t for my thinning skin and the confusion of finding where he ends and I begin. where He ends......I begin ...de Sade came to play today... |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
oh Dawn, you've collapsed me with this one, the imagery, the phrasing? Just amazing, I'm giddy  it's a keeper. Mxx P.S so glad you posted.  The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
glad you got nudged |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
and that voice that called to me that cry of misery made suffering seem so free he was so beautiful in his need. and I would run to him if it weren’t for my thinning skin and the confusion of finding where he ends and I begin. where He ends......I begin ...de Sade came to play today... damn woman.... each offering from you seems to open a new complexity to the style and to the form... and each touching things in me I sometimes would leave alone... you do indeed write it well... |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
and that voice that called to me that cry of misery made suffering seem so free he was so beautiful in his need. and I would run to him if it weren’t for my thinning skin and the confusion of finding where he ends and I begin. where He ends......I begin ...de Sade came to play today... Awesome, utterly awesome! |
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sigheyes Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 323the winds of destiny |
WOW! Incredible writing! Thank you. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh my. Complex, well-thought-out, and excellently executed. Oh my. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Nicely done- SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
and I smiled, tracing his shadow with my eyes, fingers tightly pulling the hem of summer nearer to me, in-between the echoes of his beckoning and that voice that called to me that cry of misery made suffering seem so free gawd....your writing is so....so.... INCREDIBLE dear gal! I love the above lines...one can feel the ache in the words. WRITE ON GAL! IWIHWT! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
muted So well done! Especially loved this: "pulling the hem of summer" |
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wandering glider Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501aloft |
well done -glider- |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
dang, you are on a roll woman, and please...please keep on it! this is REAL writing from the inner sanctuary of emotions |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Darn good thing she winged you into this... or I would have! |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Strong writing Dawn, I'm back for a second read, head clear from the day's events and still find myself speechless in awe of the images and feelings your pen evokes....  ~P |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
and that voice that called to me that cry of misery made suffering seem so free he was so beautiful in his need. and I would run to him if it weren’t for my thinning skin and the confusion of finding where he ends and I begin. Alright so Ron and I have the same taste...but I cut and pasted it again to emphasize just how damn good this writing is. Amazing work here.  *click* |
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