Open Poetry #33 |
Sidewinder . . . . .haiku |
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Somewhere the snake waits... Low grass hiss, rattling leaves... So long 'til sundown.... |
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© Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yikes! Who wants sundown...they still crawl around in the dark! Smiling... |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Yes, he waits. Good tough leather boots 'll do the trick. crossing open range most careful placing footsteps is danger lurking? Ooooh, snakes, and I mean more than just the slithering kind -- Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I really love the two images that comes to mind with "rattling leaves" Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hey Ed!! I like your snake poem, even though I don't like snakes!!. Hugs, Ethel |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed Snakes are facinating creatures...but also can hurt. Your poem is so short, but gives the reader much feeling with your great imagery. Well done! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I see, said the grasshopper! Wonderful haiku! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
cool write |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm one who knows for sure that God DOES make mistakes... or else He has a colossal sense of humor putting snakes and me on the same planet...(can you say "phobia"? LOL) So... it's with some amazement that I realize... for the first time, I'm glad they exist... if only because without their deadly glory, the powerful images you've given us here would be lost. Still... I'll embrace your words... and avoid those critters diligently! *G* Excellent write, my friend... Your haikus are always memorable... yes! *S* |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Your poem leaves vivid images in mind, I can close my eyes and hear the sounds. Very well done. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
perfect! the imagery striking from the side shadows! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
hehehhehe good one Ed, not afraid of snakes, but surely do respect them...giving them their own space. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
this gives me the creeps |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
don't know why but I read anger in this...perhaps it is the sharpness of the wording...very strong write....and yep, when there is a snake, you will find me up there with suthern, as far away as I can get yes I can say 'phobia'.... lol |
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elfine Junior Member
since 2004-06-08
Posts 35traveling |
After my warm welcome, I thought I'd read some of your posts (the Koi parody--masterful!--and cinquains, etc.) ... great stuff! I'm looking forward to learning from you. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oooooo! A shiver went up and down my spine as I read your sidewinder of a poem! ~ very vivid picture you painted! EA |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Guess I'm the weird one. I like snakes, LOL, as long as they stay away from my feet while I'm hiking. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
liked this |
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