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Open Poetry #33
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The Cards
| Open Poetry #33 |
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The Cards |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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The Cards Faces, faces, turn the cards; sun moon starlight, slanting hard in out through the window leaves door, in the meadow where the street lamps flare and the trees bear a harvest of acorns and nails. Aces, aces, deuce and trey, sunlight, moonlight, what are they when the time bubble splits in two in four; sand on the water on the transient air and the whales finding grass where plankton fails? Turning, turning, clubs and spades, seabird flies where eagle wades; will it meld, will it fold, turn back once more through the peon eons with a time to spare for the sundrench roses and the moonlit sails? Faces, aces, mark them all; they’ll turn equal where they fall. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh...I like this Ed! Especially: "in the meadow where the street lamps flare and the trees bear a harvest of acorns and nails." Love the sing/song feel of it...makes me want to dig out my jump rope. It's wonderful to see you moving in new directions with your poetry!  |
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Pell Member
since 2001-09-16
Posts 134Pacific NW |
Funny that Martie mentioned jumprope, I was thinking that very thing. I too am looking forward to seeing where this takes you. (Martie, are you psychic?  lol). |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yes -- she is. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
I agree that the music of this poem makes me think of jumprope....well done... |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I was trying for a chanting feel...wanted it to be like there was a tom-tom beating in the background..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
enjoyed this, Ed. miscellanea |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yep |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
There was a chant here, as I read it. It moreso made me think of the witch about the cauldron, and I'm not saying the words themselves resembled that.  However, and whatever. I enjoyed this muchly. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
 Enjoyed, RatL! ....jo |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I don't know, perhaps it's my mindset this morning, but does this speak of another dimension walking right beside us? Interesting write Ed, very much enjoyed |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Reminded me of many things...as Martie said, a child's jumprope song... Superman's Bizarro world... and it also reminded me of the resolve of a poet to stretch their wings...and fly. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Bingo, LeeJ! That's exactly what I'm talking about here! ....and another for Sunshine, cuz it's an announcement by me that I want to turn over those cards. You're absolutely right, Sunny One. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ratleader's rhyming... and I love it! *G* And the rhythm is magnetic... whether chanted or not, it casts a spell. *S* "and the trees bear a harvest of acorns and nails." There are so many incredible images in this... and so many layers... but this line in particular is so striking it feels like a mini-poem cloaked in the larger whole... |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
Look at you...  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
oh especially loved those ending lines Mr Rat. How are you friend? Maree The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Kazm Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 99 |
Your words can be so complicated sometimes, but they are a pleasure to read. I could feel this poem like a vibration inside me even though I didn't understand it all. Kaz |
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elfine Junior Member
since 2004-06-08
Posts 35traveling |
I love this. Reminds me a little of the sing-song parts of Vachel Lindsay, particularly since it shows us another world. "they'll turn equal where they fall ..." The equality of the cards? Regardless of their "rank" (or perceived truth-telling) they are equally important for us to notice? |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Nice hand Ratdude. *smily thingy* |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Ed, I looked at this earlier and was in awe, but pretty uncomfortable with the old leg! I am glad I went back again for another read as it echos being upside down in an inside out kind of place, if you know what I mean! Great writing. I like your versatility! miscellanea |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Very nice Reminds me of Tolkien....a chant, perhaps by a more sophisticated Gullum... enjoyed the cadence and content.. ------ice ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Shuffle 'em up! I'd like to have a hand in this deal. e |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I'm happy this came up again, and saw your reply Ed...I've believed that for years, although, I also believe there are many dimensions floating there...not just one...again. would like to say, a poem very well done...I liked. Hugs and smiles...happy to see that I'm not the only excentric thinker...was afraid perhaps I might need some prozac...hehehe |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
how I used to enjoy building houses of cards...enjoyed the read |
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