One Woman's Walls - pipTalk Forums

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Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2004-08-17 05:17 PM

She’s got forty of them
surrounding her,
made of pebbles and stones
round and sharp,
high as they are long,

tall ones built from boulders
hauled on muscled backs,
men heaving rock upon rock,
their shoulders archways to halls
where she was ferried
from one state to another.

But jobs get done and men go home
to wives or whores or mothers,
leaving her need renewed.

She’s thinking of adding gun turrets.

Pell
Member

since 2001-09-16

Posts 134
Pacific NW

1 posted 2004-08-17 05:23 PM

LOL love the last line!

Hang in there kiddo

A fish with no eyes is a fsh.

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

2 posted 2004-08-17 06:21 PM

Very powerful...I know just how to build such walls...wonderful writing...

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2004-08-17 06:46 PM

Corinne

I was thinking after reading this, that the only "real" home is a home without walls. I like the introspective quality of this and where it lead me...thanks!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2004-08-17 07:30 PM

Corinne
I think Martie has the right idea. Enjoyed the read.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2004-08-17 08:21 PM

Very interesting, makes me think. I like that.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

6 posted 2004-08-17 09:52 PM

Bravo !!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2004-08-17 10:00 PM

Smiling...
if you add turrets
it's a certified castle.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2004-08-18 02:08 AM

Corinne? You're a classic!

Love your writes, your mind.

it's a keeper

M

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 2004-08-18 09:13 AM

I understand this one well... and you've written that painful situation wonderfully!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

10 posted 2004-08-18 11:01 AM

well done Corrine

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

11 posted 2004-08-18 11:13 AM

and you just stay the way you are!
There is nothing wrong with wanting honorable, trustworthy!

You go girl...powerfully done

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

12 posted 2004-08-18 11:31 AM

Long time, no see...and now you're building fortifications..LOL

Very nice write Corinne, more than a little grit.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

13 posted 2004-08-18 05:56 PM

Thanks Pell!

Thank you, Startime!

Martie - how right you are! Hope all is well with you.

Thanks Sey and Susan!

Thank you Nightshade!

Heh, yep, Karilea. There is a story behind this, but knowing how small the world of online poetry is, I can't tell you here!

Thanks Dark Angel - you are so sweet!

Southern, Gentle Spirit, Lee - thank you!

Hey Wranx! How are you? Yes, this is one of those written whilst in a snit of a mood!

Corinne

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

14 posted 2004-08-20 09:25 AM

Corinne...you've always known how much I enjoy your works, right? Anyway, this one doesn't disappoint!! Oh, how I can relate here as you know. Here's praying that someone tears down those walls faster than he builds them

(((HUGS)))

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

15 posted 2004-08-20 09:44 AM

...a moat?
...with alligators?
K

SimplyGold
Senior Member

since 2002-07-10

Posts 1453

16 posted 2004-08-20 10:02 AM

Enjoyed this and did relate.
Caution: You could take a life time to build that wall only to wish never having built it all!
SG

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

17 posted 2004-08-21 01:19 AM

LOL great stuff Corinne

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

18 posted 2004-08-21 04:55 AM

great write!

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

19 posted 2004-08-21 08:24 AM

Corinne, you know you could tear the walls down. It's a radical idea I know but maybe it would work. Although on second thoughts maybe go with the heavy armaments. Excellent description and painfully real.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Lady Of Light
Junior Member

since 2003-10-23

Posts 31

20 posted 2004-08-26 07:37 AM

BRAVO!

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

21 posted 2004-08-29 10:48 PM

Wow, didn't expect to see this one still floating about. Thanks everyone!

Heh, just for the record, these aren't my walls, er, well, at least I hope they're not!

heh

Corinne

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