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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Today |
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Cait New Member
since 1999-08-28
Posts 4WI, USA |
*this poem is about my dad who died last year. i'd really appreciate some responses from you all...thanks. today my world got a little darker i can't see what lays ahead of me anymore it used to be so much clearer a life astranged from those around me a life too perfect to know a sweet madness like this too perfect to recognize this glorious sadness that has been layed ahead of me, luring me towards it today my world got thrown away... today i died i can't breathe anymore, i gasp for air my lungs are closing in on themselves i gag and choke on my own vomit i scream until i become deaf from my own words my body becomes limp i fall from my stance and sink into the ground my head throbs and i go numb i can still see him sometimes today was one of those times i close my eyes and listen to my breathing tears stain my flushed cheeks and i wait he enters my world i see him walking towards me his voice becomes familiar again and his presence begins to enclose my body he occupies my mind and my thoughts he knows more than he did before for he is with me always now able to see all i do, all i say, all i experience he knows all now yet i am again forced to let go forced to move on and leave my past, leave the only way i know how, behind me today...today i learned how to live a new way a way set apart from all others around myself i pave my own path and listen to my inner self i let no one into my world anymore for what i love becomes cursed cursed to die abruptly, unexpectedaly cursed to change, become a new person cursed by me today was a new day my days are still darker than my being is accustomed to the spark, the light has faded the glow in my eyes is lost but i manage to find my way i wander amlesly through these halls in search of something i have yet to find my smile is now my mask the mask of my soul i do not remove if for fear of misplacing it forever fear of losing it and not knowing the way anymore i pray that someday i will become the person you know me as become the person i pretend to be every day that i am here i pray for an end to all this pain and if not that, at least the strength to make it to tomorrow i will continue to walk, continue to live continue to wander through this crazy existance i will find my own way out of here somedays may be darker and i may lose my way but i am here today and tomorrow will always come... [This message has been edited by Cait (edited 09-04-99).] [This message has been edited by Cait (edited 09-04-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Cait - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
This poem brought back a lot of memories for me...you have captured that turbulent, aimless feeling wonderfully I think Cait. writing is such a great way to express and come to understand ourselves, especially at the worst times in our lives. I have written things about myself and read them back, only realising then that they were true. If this is from life, Cait, hang on. They say time heals all wounds, well, it certainly helps. Hang on and don't lock yourself away from everyone. |
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Cait New Member
since 1999-08-28
Posts 4WI, USA |
Since I have gotten barely no responses to my poem, I thought maybe if I explained a few things, that would help. I'm 16 years old, last year my dad died from brain cancer. It was a very difficult time for me and I'm still working through things, but writing has helped immensely. This poem expresses the different situations, relationships, and emotions I've delt with this past year. I sort of started from the beginning of this mess, from his diagnosis and the sudden death, and went through the different changes that occured in my life, trying to put into words my reactions. Maybe some of you can now better understand this poem with my explanation. I'd really like to hear what you think of it...  |
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