Untitled-More of a rant in free verse

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Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

0 posted 1999-10-28 03:08 PM

She called today
The audacious whore
With velvet in her voice
-Such a disarming demeanor-

NO! My mind screamed
Hurt her! Don't just
Listen, and nod!
REMEMBER WHAT SHE DID TO YOU!

We ended it on civil terms,
That is best perhaps
She said I was kind and caring
-HAH!- Assets of the weak

She apologized, said she'd changed
Realized her mistakes
Stupid me- though I'd never forgive her
I empathized

Why?

Her words slipped in like vaseline,
And though I knew they were lies
As everything has been a LIE
I supressed my rage-
And would you imagine?
I almost believed her.....

Until she asked if we would talk again
No, I said, repeatedly
She asked if she had a problem, if she could just call to talk about it
And I knew then that I had been taken for a fool

Memories slipped in my heart
A dead bird, a knife to my throat
The 200$ she owes my love; all because she had to get drugs
The familiar cold hate fills me

Still I held my thoughts inside
And we wished each other luck on our lives
Said goodbye forever

And now I wonder...what is that feeling in my gut?
Guilt?
Why? Is it because I feel so hateful to her?
Or because I nearly felt compassion for a moment?

I just don't know- All I do know is, just like my entire life,

If I could do it over again, I would change everything.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

1 posted 1999-10-28 07:26 PM

Well, it's just my opinion that she called to try and gike you out of another 200 bucks.
I could all the anger, confusion and guilt wrapped up in this one...and remember it to if I chose to look back just a year or so. Great expression of emotions, Sys.

------------------
Michael Anderson

Is all that we see or seem
but a dream within a dream?

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

2 posted 1999-10-28 08:01 PM

Tread carefully here,Hon. You expressed your self very well!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

3 posted 1999-10-28 10:35 PM

Micheal, It wasn't my money, but my BFs. Maybe I should have made that clearer. Dumb bitch never paid him back either.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

4 posted 1999-10-29 06:27 AM

With velvet in her voice!Amy,someday you will
become even more of a masterful Storyteller and Poet.

Velvet is an exquiste word;along w/one of my personal favorites....SilverTongue.As she must have had that too

I want to also echo,Watcher's
reply.And add,take care Little Bear

Later Gator,
Jenny

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

5 posted 1999-10-29 06:47 AM

Sys, I understood it as you meant it,
either way...you still got giked as I see it.

Michael

------------------
Michael Anderson

And after-drunkeness of soul
Succeeds the glory of the bowl -
An idle longing night and day
To dream my very life away

EAP
but a dream within a dream?

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