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Dark Poetry #1
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Hard Line
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Hard Line |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
call out boys and girls Hear the screams of the condemned Stop all the music for pain prevails In this world of eternal evils as man walks the wretched earth Trample the beauty down below kill the beauty in the skies above all scream at mans machine kills the world with its great metallic scream ------------------ Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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| © Copyright 1999 Paul Weatherstone - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Stop all the music....too cool ! I enjoyed! Jenny  |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Walter, I like this poem very much. One suggestion...use scream less and replace it with something like wail or cry. Just my opinion.  ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Nicely done! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
Scream is used to much I will endeavor not to overuse words like i did here Always nice to get compliments Thank You ------------------ Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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