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Dark Poetry #1
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(posted for all, but Jana Tovey most) Black Eyes
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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(posted for all, but Jana Tovey most) Black Eyes |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392
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I have endured many a black eye and many times a bruised face. Wore it all with pride like leather and lace. When deep inside my soul cried. I have lasted through the years and shed many tears. I may have paid a high price. A lesson I have learned from all this pain, never do it twice. If one is abused for so long, one can only break or learn to become strong. I have endured it all, you see, and what came out on top was me. A bit harsher and unkind I may be, but what counts is I am here and I am me. There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul... a-alibaster |
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| © Copyright 2000 a-alibaster (H.A.R.) - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
I also read "She" and I believe what you say in both poems is true for you. I'm so glad that you came through experiences like these and used them to be strong. I hope future experiences are gentler and more spirit-fostering (if there is such a word). Thank you for your response. I feel honored. |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392 |
I am honoured that you like my words...these ones seem to be a bit calm for me...most find me offensive...though I do not mean to be. I simpley write what others think but no one seems to dare to say. I have posted one here that many found offensive ("Seriel Killer"), though I did not mean for it to be. Abuse is one thing that I know well after going through it for almost 7 years. That was a true living Hell. Yes, I may be harsh and some times unkind, but I do not mean it offensive in any way. I wrote some words a while ago about myself as well... "I am as I am nothing more nothing less. I am tears of pain, tears of death." I apologies that I do rant a bit here...I am one who keeps to themself...I have posted here for a long while now and you are the first that I have actually, some what, had a conversation with. I hope that I have not offended or bothered you. Thank you for your words of kindness and understanding. Seems hard to find one who understands some one who is as dark and unyeilding as I seem to be to others! There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul... a-alibaster |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
You are too hard on yourself. To some extent we are all a sum of 'experiences and reactions to those experiences'. Some reactions are gut reactions, others are well thought out. When you truly understand yourself, reactions become responses. Responses don't come from the mind or from the gut. They come from that central place where the spirit coexists with the sum of all that we are as human beings. What you write about is personal, and to publish it here takes courage. I do not know what you wrote earlier, but I imagine it was something that you needed to get out of your system. 7 years of abuse is alot to contend with. Reovery, I feel, from such experiences is never fully over and done with. Healing can be a lifetime process...so, HEAL ON!!! |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392 |
You are so right...it is never-ending. I have been out of the realationship for over 5 years now. I am a much stronger person because of it though...I used to tell him that he made me what I am today...A SOLDIER, and that is a good thing to be : }~ I am now happily married to a wonderful man and things could not be better in my existance...for all of that I am thankful, as I am for there being ppl like yourself that understand. Thank you for letting me babble and just...for being the way you are! I will bother you no more. Though I am awaiting reading more of your poems. There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul... a-alibaster |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
a-alibaster, a powerful poem. I know what it is like to be bullied, though thankful mine was not physical, and mild in comparison to what you described. Abuse of any level should not be allowed. I guess what I am trying to say is thanks for sharing your poem, I am glad that you are still you. That is the most important thing that you still have belief in yourself and the strength to continue. Some people found one of your poems offensive, well I have always tried to push the envelope, to challenge people to make them ask questions may not wish to hear and to explore things that people may find disturbing. All great poetry effects people. Anyway this is only if you want to, but I would love to read your poem "serial killer," if you wish to share it please e-mail me at lost_boy_zero@hotmail.com thanks for sharing. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers La Tristesse Durera (Scream to a Sigh) "Life has been unfaithful And it all promised so so much I am a relic I am just a petrified cry Wheeled out once a year, a cenotaph souvenir The applause nails down my silence La tristesse durera Scream to a sigh, to a sigh I see liberals I am just a fashion accessory People send postcards And they all hope I'm feeling well I retreat into self-pity, it's so easy Where they patronise my misery La tristesse durera Scream to a sigh, to a sigh I sold my medal It paid a bill It sells at market stalls Parades Milan catwalks The sadness will never go Will never go away Baby it's here to stay |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
a-alibaster, I also grew up in an abusive home, strap beatings, and closed fists. it was no fun, I had three sisters, and I usually steeped in front of them, I was the object of this affection for many years. your poem drums up old feelings, and that's ok, I've out grown the hurt, and have become a better person for it. I broke the chain, and loving it. Thanks kid. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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