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Dark Poetry #1
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Untitled-1st draft
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Untitled-1st draft |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
(please feel free to take this apart. I never take critisism personally and only use it as tool to get better thanks) Death is warmth to the destitute a womb for the afflicted one which they long to return to. Satiated minds, whose minefield of voices is like a buzzing hive of drones serving chemical secretions from a queen they have not seen, they all seek my brother and only find rubber rooms. I, deaths wicked brother doth hold them here. They beg of me, plead like lost lambs for the familiarity of their mothers nipple yet I hold them closer, warmer, nearer to my soul. I was born a fruit, from fruit neglected by my parents shunned the second I was created Outcast, to wander, seek and find my home My brothers and sisters you know them well Birth and death friend or foe depending on what you believe I have been cursed from the beginning of time debated over liters of wine The Buddhist know, Love me only to be free of me My sister, is blessed among the women of your tribe. Revered for gifts she bestows potentials unleashed from a cell exploding across time like a drop of ink in an ocean of probabilities My brother, doth smile his wicked smile and the pharaohs loved him so. He is the mystery of my sister I curse the day I was created I cannot leave, there is no end for me All I know is now. now, this lonely now. that now that never leaves The world runs from me like rats from a fire scrambling, screaching for a cesspool to save their souls An aids patient in a hospital who lived 5 years to long caresses me like a child would it’s mother The dying children in Africa who have seen no rain since they were born who know no food and only hunger and thirst for something they know not of they, they know me they hate me. A banker in New York he knows me too Yet chooses to face my brother on ledge 52 stories up. I have given you hope, love Joy and satisfaction. I have sacrificed all that I am poured every atom of every thought into the moments that make up your life Hoping that one man, one leader would end it all for me the Buddha, Ghandi, Mohammed, Jesus, they all knew me and let me be I have realized my home It is a transient place My home is your life. Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven claws Jim Morrison |
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| © Copyright 2000 Anthony Di Bartolomeo - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Tony~ these are your words, your thoughts, no one can change them or tell you how to make them better, as they belong to you, and only you know them completely. I thought this was deep.-SEA |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Tony I thought this was pretty good. I can tell you that most poets in open will read and give you encouragement if they like it or they will read and not post a comment if they don't like your writing. You better get this one over to the critical analysis site if you want someone to take this apart. Ask and you shall receive. James |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
I agree very deep, Tony, I have shaken hands with this brother several times in my life. And James is right, I think we in dark passions, can only read, feel, love, and have been taken apart ourselves, I’m not wanting to rip anything else my friend. But thanks for the sharing. Joel. |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
a very proud look at humanity as all parts of one great system looking out from within througn eyes of gods and their kin Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again, Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping, And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence. |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
Thank you one and all. Thanks for your comments and not comment by others that have read and not commented. I usually post in the critical analysis but this time i thought that I would explore the other forums. See YA Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven claws Jim Morrison |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Well Tony I am glad you posted this here!! WOnderful work full of insight etc. And by the way, Jim Morrison rules and is still an awesome writer.  A heart and soul are not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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