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The Waters Edge (free verse)
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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The Waters Edge (free verse) |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN 
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I'm curious what everyone thinks of this its my first poem that doesnt rhyme As I sit upon the waters edge I am reminded only of you. The way the waves gently crash against the shore making such a deep impact in the sand. like the impact you have made on my life. The way the water comes so far upon the shore and then recedes back to the large body of water like the way you get so involved in my life and then recede back into the world, without me. The noise of the waves crashing together, sounding so perfect and peaceful like when you tell me that you love me. and the silence they make like when you leave me here alone. The way the sand slips through my fingers so easy leaving my hands empty like the way you are slowly slipping out of my life leaving me here feeling empty, without your love as I sit upon the waters edge.  < !signature--> Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. --Louis Boone [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 04-05-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Angie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark_kisses_Within Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680Kansas |
Great work. As I sat here and read that, I could feel the same things. I know exactly how you feel in this poem about being left behind ect ect. Thanx Dark_kisses_within I do not love you for being perfect..... I love you for being perfect for me!! |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wonderful poem... reminds me of the longing I feel when I sit alone at the ocean... almost mystifying. Michael |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
well what can i say... I sit upon the waters edge too... so peaceful and still such an impact... i liked it a lot... If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods |
I often have moments like that myself. Loved your poem, very well written. ~Hug~  I bleed my feelings on a white sheet I color the blank page red It leaves me blodless Pallid and stale While the crimson pain thunder in my head ~Broken~ |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
Thank you all. Im very curious as to what people think of this 1. ~hugz~ |
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Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
This is very good! I love free verse, it gives you the freedom to express yourself more clearly, and many times more deeply, without the limitations that traditional rhyme forces upon you. "A poet is someone who is astonished by everything." - anonymous |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I enjoyed the way you expressed your feelings by contrasting your love to the movements of the ocean. James |
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HelenaJ Member
since 2000-04-04
Posts 81Kitchener, ont. Canada |
This was great. I often relate my feelings and self with the ocean. You have great descriptive talent. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beautiful and as Michael said almost mystical, you've captured those feelings so well!! I feel that way when I look at the water too, knowing it can seperate you from those you love etc. Beautiful work, great for the first attempt with non rhyming!!   There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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