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Lil OnE
Member

since 1999-12-14

Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.

0 posted 2000-01-08 04:35 PM

If... self confidence was rain,
      I'd be having a major drought.
If... happiness was a road,
      mine would be a dead-end drive.
If... pain was a snowflake,
      I'd be caught in a blizzard.
If... fear was a drop of water,
      I'd be the world's biggest tidal wave.
If... Hurt and shame were diamonds,
      I'd be swimming in a pool of riches.
If... hate was a tree,
      I'd be living in a forest.
If... hope was a flower
      my garden would be dead.
If... love was a tornado,
      I'd be a very mild breeze.
If... beauty was a blade of grass,
      I'd be in the middle of a desert.
If... jealousy was a color,
      I'd be a huge rainbow.
If... talent was a number,
      I'd be a negative one million.

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

1 posted 2000-01-08 05:18 PM

I thought this was really good, I've read it twice. I have too many favorite lines and words to write them all. BUT....I must disagree with the last self defeating lines. While I respect the words...I must disagree if this is taken from your personal life. You are a Poet in the family of Many

I enjoyed this LilOnE...

Try + one billion

Jenny

< !signature-->

Words bloom like flowers that seem astonished at being born.

L. Pirandello
16th Century Dramatist

[This message has been edited by JennyLee (edited 01-08-2000).]

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

2 posted 2000-01-08 11:08 PM

I too enjoyed this, but know you do have a talent for poetry at least

Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.
~Isis~
(Sovereign of the Spirit)

danni
Senior Member

since 1999-11-20

Posts 688
wisconsin

3 posted 2000-01-08 11:47 PM

I agree with Jenny on those last two lines. You do have talent. As for the rest I'd have to say I am and have all those same things if that is what they are. I enjoyed this.

Quiet Lightning
Member

since 1999-12-26

Posts 56

4 posted 2000-01-09 03:07 PM

you were kind of negative in your poetry ya think' overall I liked it because it's unique

Bojopy
Member

since 2000-01-03

Posts 391

5 posted 2000-01-10 06:58 PM

I thought I left a post on this. I loved everything about this. The style is interesting and the way you used the If...!

"Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy)

FreeByrd
Member

since 1999-11-03

Posts 267

6 posted 2000-01-12 08:24 AM

If... you looked inside yourself, you would see the beauty, talent and hope there is for you.

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