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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Lost |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
She walks alone amidst a silent crowd Blending in unwillingly unnoticed Trying to cry out Longing to be heard But the silence remains unbroken and deafening She is withdrawn Lost within this reverie She waits and wonders hopelessly if someone will notice she is gone |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, I can certainly relate to the feelings here. I have felt this way within my own family most my life, not to mention anybody else I've known. You capture the loneliness well. Good poem Michael |
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lostboy Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275New Hampshire, USA |
Again, you are loud and clear. I loved "silence remains unbroken and deafening". Excellent way with words! |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Loved every word and the color red is a great choice to pull it all together  Jenny Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Thank you all so very much! |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
To be wanted. These sad and lonely words weave an all too common experience in our society. Wonderfully written. -RS There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief - Hendrix |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
I can not relate to this poem in the aspect that you wrote it in. But I can relate to in one fashion. People do not want to listen to my thoughts or my poetry. But thanks to this place I can finally relate. And we all are friends of a family to the written word. BOJOPY |
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Thaddeus Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 78MA |
Your words remind me of one of those wooden Russian dolls with another and another and another and an empty doll at the end. Only you paint lonliness within lonliness within lonliness with emptyness at the end. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Bojopy-you are right about this place. So many willing to listen, so many who share the similar emotions. Thaddeus-The poem has done its job if that is what you imagine. Thank you both for your comments. |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
WOW I really liked what T said!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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