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Dark Poetry #1

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HM3
Member

since 1999-07-15

Posts 169
TX

0 posted 1999-12-29 05:40 PM

Some thing got me, but there's nobody there
And I can feel it but I don't know where
It makes me hurt I can't point to the place
But it shows in my eyes and on my face
Maybe it is a ghost from days gone by
Or just a shadow, maybe it is I

Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching...

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

1 posted 1999-12-29 11:36 PM

Liked this HM3! Last line really brings it together!

JOY

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

2 posted 1999-12-30 11:58 PM

An echo perhaps? Anyways, well done

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato)
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)

Astraea
Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now

3 posted 1999-12-31 12:05 PM

Very nice.

~Astraea

"Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

4 posted 2000-01-01 08:29 PM

I really like this, I know the feeling, I however if it were mind change the line line to read "or a lingering shadow from the past", just a suggestion. It captures a mood that is familiar.

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

5 posted 2000-01-02 04:10 PM

Maybe it's a ghost from days gone by...

I enjoyed this piece alot

Jennifer Lee

Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.

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