Vexation of Despair - pipTalk Forums

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~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

0 posted 1999-09-09 06:25 AM

"Vexation in Despair"

I feel as though I am volatile,
Clothed in only a black, satin cloth
That covers my body from the top of my head
To the tip of my toes.
This cloth is uncomfortably suffocating with fervor.
There is no way out, and there is
No way to possibly find its core;
The depth.
I pull and stretch as though trying to be born again;
Wishing I had the inextinguishable, unconquerable capacity
To set myself free.
Yet, I only feel this delicate, withering languor...
And when I least expect it, I am encumbered and taciturn.
I fall in to a motionless repose of relinquishment;
Vexation in despair.
I hear all the incriminating assumptions despite my genuine, unselfish benevolence.
And with tears, I feel the heaviness that consumes my world.
The ones that have the strength to love me, hurt because they cannot find me.
And I hurt, also, because I cannot reach the ones I love.
And thus, my abnormal disposition is left to wallow in the emptiness-
In the world of blackness that has found me
And stolen everything I took for granted.

©1999 Erin Solari

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~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."

[This message has been edited by ~one voice~ (edited 09-09-99).]

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-09-09 06:46 AM

Powerful statement you've made here, my dear. Wonderfully worded and stated as always but a bit Darker than I've come to expect from you. I feel your pain through this work and the sharing of pain helps us all to cope.

You are truly a remarkable woman my dear. To fight with pen against despair and win yourself free of it's smothering embrace is a daunting task. Your accomplishing it is one reason you are well and truly loved by this poet's heart.

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Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvil©

[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 09-12-99).]

moonmoon
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 277
TX , USA

2 posted 1999-09-10 12:01 PM

Yes, very powerful indeed..It gives me a sense of 'silent suffocation'..And the articulate use of words is astonishing...

Thanks for the read..!!

------------------
"No one was ever ruined from without;
The final ruin comes from within.".....Amelia E. Barr

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

3 posted 1999-09-10 12:55 PM

Thank you Dream and Moonmoon for your kind replies!

------------------
~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

4 posted 1999-09-11 12:26 PM

I really like your description of "Vexation
in despair". It speaks volumes on the subject
of being trapped in the emotion of despair,
and all the self anger that comes along with it! I love the way you write.

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

5 posted 1999-09-11 03:16 AM

Thank you very much JennyLee! That compliment means a lot to me!

------------------
~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

6 posted 1999-09-12 10:07 AM

~one voice~
Extraordinary piece here. Vivid pain reflects all through it. You truly are one of the few people in this world I hold genuine, and your benevolence is quite evident. This whole piece has really moved me.

Michael

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

7 posted 1999-09-12 02:55 PM

Wow... Thanks Michael! Such a compliment from a poet such as yourself makes me blush! Thank you very, very much!

------------------
~onevoice~

"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

8 posted 1999-10-24 06:57 PM

I loved reading this again...and miss this "voice" in our forums

Jenny

suicidal dreams
Member

since 1999-09-28

Posts 343
Toledo Ohio USA

9 posted 1999-10-24 08:56 PM

You are a great speaker of the pain we all fell time to time or all the time. I know exactly the feeling of things being taken away due to my ignorance and assumptions of my carachter being made by those who dont know even know me.

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life is short kill quick

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

10 posted 1999-10-24 10:52 PM

~one voice~

I like this poem a lot, I can relate to it very well.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

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