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MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

0 posted 2004-05-04 09:35 PM

there are some that i can talk to
on a level like my own
i really do respect them
but my feelings havn't grown
there were some that i could laugh with
without caution, without fear
but when i really needed them
they could never be here
there are some that i can relate to
for they feel the same as i
but their souls are made to wonder
so we had to say good bye
there's a few that really loved me
but it only went so far
i couldn't force my feeling's
and i'd end up at the bar
there are those that i felt free with
never pressure, never lies
they always made me feel good
but i couldn't handle any ties
those i could depend on
for a favor or a buck
but when it came to loving
never any luck
those who entertained me
and were always good in bed
but if i told them i liked them
it would go straight to their head
those i can call my brothers
strickly friends and nothing more
i can read things in their faces
and it's mostly just a bore
there are all those party faces
that i see most every day
but when the partys over
there's nothing left today
for me to really love one
he'd need all these and more
bvut he'd hold my heart forever
i'd never lock the door
he could always make me happy
there is nothing we can't do
for i've held him in my arms before
that someone is you

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2004-05-04 09:37 PM

Very nice Marsha...loved the romantic ending!
Hugs~

~ Lost in you, I found myself. ~

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

2 posted 2004-05-04 09:45 PM

thankyou

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

3 posted 2004-05-04 10:45 PM

Your feelings are so clear, and you had a nice rhythm going all through.
If I might offer any suggestion, it would be to let the poem unstructure a bit.
The rhyme is pure, but the emotion here carried the poem so well, that I couldn't help but wonder what would have materialized if the rhyme was allowed to drive.

Wonderful Marsha

TD

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-05-05 02:08 AM

just be careful with your heart

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

5 posted 2004-05-05 12:50 PM

thanks for reply's this was written almost 20 years ago, just found it again and thought i would share.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2004-05-06 12:23 PM

Lovely...I know what its like when you find someone special...James

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2004-05-07 07:30 PM

A vibrant outpour of your heart to clear the space just for the special "someone".
Enjoyed your write.
Love, Margherita

Destinys_Fallen_Angel
Member

since 2004-05-06

Posts 75
Boise Idaho

8 posted 2004-05-07 07:42 PM

a wonderful poem...i wish my vocabulary was larger so i could express better how much i liked your poem

Yahoo messenger: destinys_Falen_Angel
MSN Messenger: Destinys_Fallen_Angel
AOL/AIM: Eternityshyann

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