Open Poetry #32 |
Of Today |
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Of Today Today I live upon the edge The narrow of a crumbling wedge An aging soil, an aging foil That’s squeezed of all its oil and toil. It kneels to serendipity To wit and reciprocity And when it rests it quests in seems Charging windmills in its dreams Dimmer is the sky above Mistier the seem of love Duller is the sound of beat Sallow is the sweet of treat I see the white whale in the mist It is the right whale of insist Slashing sickles tail on high It cuts a gray into the sky It is the Argonaut in sail It is the port of last avail [This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (05-04-2004 07:46 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2004 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
wow, good rhyme and rhythm here...the words have been savored |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I seldom find anything wrong with your writing, You do it so well, With so much emotion too But the line And when it rests it rests in seems seems cumbersome to me, Perhaps And when it rests it’s in seems might flow a touch better and matches the next line well also. Enjoyed the read Gloom |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Much to ponder in this write, Sy. Well done. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
"Slashing sickles tail on high It cuts a gray into the sky" What an image! Your writing is as sharp as ever Wonderful! Liz |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful imagery in the morning's read Sy! Very much enjoyed! ~Morning hugs, Nancy~ ~ Lost in you, I found myself. ~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Today I live upon the edge The narrow of a crumbling wedge An aging soil, an aging foil That’s squeezed of all its oil and toil. ~*~ Today, my Sy, we are assuredly on the same wave length... which always makes me smile. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
An aging soil, an aging foil That’s squeezed of all its oil and toil. ...never, Sy M |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you okay? this is depressing, but beautiful |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
everythime you write another keeper, you come up with one even better, this one gave me chills. Excellent write and read...good day to you and yours! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Seymour, I charge windmills in my dreams. Thanks for this one-it sings to me. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Dimmer is the sky above Mistier the seem of love Duller is the sound of beat Sallow is the sweet of treat ================================ me thinks I'm gonna have to send Randy back with some Raspberry tea to charge you up. LOL Does that ship sail down the muddy Miss-i-sip??? lol *winkiewinkie* |
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