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Open Poetry #32

The absence

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

0 posted 2004-05-03 05:51 PM

Her absence is a river through my heart.
Slowly, the substance is carried away,
The deepening canyon resounds with cries;
Quickening beats reach critical resonance,
and,
The errosions arrested by the end.

Springs flowing down combine to trickle
The stop. And the riverbed turned rift
Becomes a collection of desert cliffs;
Forever more to year for the slow cool pain,
of errosive memories.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

[This message has been edited by majnu (05-03-2004 07:23 PM).]

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

1 posted 2004-05-03 06:20 PM

And the riverbed turned rift
Becomes a collection of desert cliffs;
Forever more to year for the slow cool pain,
of errosive memories.

a priceless write
nice thoughts , I enjoyed this very much
-wolf

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

2 posted 2004-05-03 06:58 PM

This poem...

touching places I dare only visit alone.

beautiful.

~Tier

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2004-06-03 11:51 PM

great metaphor for such a pain-filled write...nice job

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

4 posted 2004-06-04 01:06 AM

full of pain and grief
but said in a way that brings a kind of beauty to it.
Thank you...

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Joyce kilmer

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

5 posted 2004-06-04 01:51 AM

...a poet's pain...I feel it. Wonderfully written. ~K~

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

6 posted 2004-06-04 03:11 AM

Excellent!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2004-06-05 01:03 AM

Enjoyed...James

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