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Open Poetry #32
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the last time I saw Red Dog he was aiming for hell or Chattanoga
| Open Poetry #32 |
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the last time I saw Red Dog he was aiming for hell or Chattanoga |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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there was a sawed off heeled back in his left hand pointed at hell heeled back in his left hand he was an ornery cuss but scrawny like his brother cept not as tall he was an ornery cuss not as tall as anybody with a thinning thatch like his old man rest tailed up in a braid not as tall as anybody his latest incarnation of true love stood behind rag-clad and burned out at eighteen rag-clad and burned out the state pen spat him back on the world for a second time second-chance the state pen spat him back a bad habit of playing with people he shouldn't thought it gave him renown or maybe made him look taller had a bad habit of playing never really hurt anybody himself just small-time schemer and a couple of possession raps just small-time schemer his real name was Mike but only I knew that or him real name was Mike when he went back in he owed me not much but more he owed me and he musta figured I was calling to collect he musta figured that only I just came by to tell him to forget it and keep his nose clean but he already had and hadn't |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Now lookee here what fell through the cracks to the next page. Well, here it goes back to the top... And this ending was something else.... he musta figured that only I just came by to tell him to forget it and keep his nose clean but he already had and hadn't some folks never learn, do they? Hugs, Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I love it when you write about people |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
If you ever come to New Orleans, I'll have to invite you to a barbecue or better yet, a crawfish boil. Then I will introduce to you to my friends, thus providing you with a lifetime supply of writing inspiration.  and yep, we all know 'em, some of us are them--and you write it real Reb. Enjoyed.  |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I love the style in this, it's fantastic. The poem burns... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Fantastic LR! "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
always a great storyteller, but i really liked the form of this, good job LR |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Do you have any idea how good my mental facilities feel when I open up PiP and see a poem from you? |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I love the air of this one-cynical and wonderful. Great descriptives. I could see him. I like this poem! Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very clever writing, reb. I had thought at first you were going to take the second lines of each preceeding stanza to begin the next, which is a powerful form, but then I see that you deviated from that so I assume the form was to take any preceding stanza line to begin the next. In any case it adds stlye and power to the words. Very nicely done..... |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
awesome piece rebel! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Hell or Chattanooga?....yep, bout the same....very good write Reb |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
*smile* this was about as far from a mother's day poem as you can get...glad I read it........made me smile, thanks |
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