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PKreturns
Member

since 2003-07-21

Posts 362
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2004-04-29 03:32 PM

I thirst for but a drop from you
Its blinding, this thirst to drink
All encompassing, this desire to sink
Underneath your shades of water blue

Crawling through the desert of melted sand
I am no type of camel,
Beast of burden to trammel,
Beaten down to dust by an unseen hand

This is my dry, parched lip fate
Slowly to fade to black
For your moisture I lack
Make me wet before I dehydrate

I thirst not only for water itself
But for the very art of drinking
Into oblivion sinking
As I drown in your oceans of stealth

Crazed by the sun for I have been cursed
To choke and be led astray
To wither and be blown away
If you cannot quench this type of thirst

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2004-04-29 06:30 PM

Reads like a song. Nice write!
JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”
JL

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2004-04-30 08:45 AM

A good song, indeed.
You're on a roll, PK!

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-04-30 09:13 AM

very powerfully written...bittersweet feelings come from this, yes indeed would make a great song! Lovely write Jerry, thank you for sharing.
have a gr8 weekend

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2004-04-30 09:49 AM

I agree, this just rolled off the tongue..

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2004-04-30 09:50 AM

"I thirst not only for water itself
But for the very art of drinking
Into oblivion sinking
As I drown in your oceans of stealth"

good grief, this rocks

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-04-30 02:45 PM

cool write...enjoyed

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2004-05-01 09:53 PM

Many things caught me in this write...
Never should a soul be left to thirst when the rain was planned all along.
Beautiful.
TD

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

8 posted 2004-05-02 02:02 AM

PK -- this.....enjoyed by me!

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