Open Poetry #32 |
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Sonnet for the Last Man: My door is shut... |
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Local Parasite![]()
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg ![]() |
"My door is shut!" the Last Man says, "My time Is valuable! For in the day I toil, I dig my ditches and I reap the spoils Thereof, and when the evening comes, I climb Back to the light and back into my cave---" Therefore he shuts himself, for he affords Himself some vain indulgence in his hoard Of molten idols. Someday, when his grave Its jaw unhinges, stretching forth its claws To clasp around his viscera and feed Upon his flesh, he'll wake him from his trance And drop his every object at Death's maw: "I have created happiness!" he'll plead As Sheol chews him, and the worms advance. |
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© Copyright 2004 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I don't think that is a sonnet, but maybe i am confused with something else. 14lines 12samesyllable 2same, but different then the last 12 lines I think this is a nice poem. |
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Local Parasite![]()
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Juju --- With all due respect, your definition of "sonnet" betrays your lack of knowledge of the format. Fourteen lines, iambic pentameter, rhymed, in two distinct parts---in this case an octave and a sestet, but the English sonnet (which you seem to recognize) uses three quatrains and a couplet. As for the actual rhyme scheme, I haven't used any identifiable sonnet scheme, but I'm not the first poet in history to use 14 lines & the proportional guidelines without adhering so strictly to the rhyme scheme of say, Petrarch, Spenser, or Shakespeare--- Thanks for the comments. Maybe I should have more properly appended this poem with an explanation--- Brian http://www.livejournal.com/~new_formalism |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Therefore he shuts himself, for he affords Himself some vain indulgence in his hoard ~*~ Your "hoard" are your sonnets... write on! |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
I won't quibble about your adherence to form. I'm not a sonnetier. I struggle with ip, not to mention the rest of it. Oh, and I enjoyed the write. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
enjoyed |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Huh? I don't care, really. I am not really sure my self sense I havn't wrote one in a while. And heh if some one did start something different Haiku's metaphores will only be using nature, We probably wouldn't have cool poetry like cinqains! Music would dull, I meen really look at that stuff before the musicianal geniouses came around. I mean I did not say that to offend you at all it was more of a comment. If I thought you knew nothing about poetry, I would of not commented and never read your stuff again. Juju |
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