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Open Poetry #32

drunk on limbo

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2004-07-01 02:04 PM

my days
unexplored,
unchartered,
unutilised

immobilised by inertia,
I stare impassively at
the relentless Time march

A dog, infamous for
sleeping through all hours,
once chased after the truck
I was in
Never giving in, even as
the truck picked up speed

I should probably be like the dog,
who never loses sight of his goal

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-07-01 02:17 PM

kaile -- the poem carries the essence of your poem well! ....jo

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2004-07-01 02:42 PM

kaile
Enjoyed the read.

UniqueFreak
Member

since 2004-01-09

Posts 62
Scotland

3 posted 2004-07-01 05:37 PM

yep...sometimes i just wanna be as dumb as a dog n keep chasing things...but i always seem to let them get away. Maybe I'm the slow one!

enjoyed this..

stephi

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

4 posted 2004-07-01 09:59 PM

you had me then you lost me....

at least you had me!!!

my humble opinion

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

5 posted 2004-07-02 03:27 AM

hmm, jo, i didn't really get your comment but thanks for reading anyway..

thanks Seymour for enjoying

hi stephi, ahhhh, but at least you try to chase after things.

RobertB, sorry that you didn't get my intent. will let this poem sit for a while before deciding the possible editing i can make. thanks for saying it held your interest though

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-07-03 01:30 PM

what is in motion stays in motion

(or something like that)

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