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Open Poetry #32
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suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2004-06-29 12:33 PM


Unwelcome Artiste

Grief is a manipulator

It sculpts the features
Of helpless faces
Lips up, then down
They smile or frown
Inappropriately, without volition

Conducting a dirge
Of destiny no longer our own
The choirmaster is tireless
As verse after verse
The requiem continues

Lives dangle from strings
Lacking all purpose
Mere marionettes
Who’ve long forgotten
What mercy feels like

In painter’s smock
Grief chooses a palette
That lacks yellow
There are no lavenders
Pinks or red
Only shades of bleak

The tapestry it weaves
Of broken threads
And unraveled edges
Has no resemblance
To the one we’d planned

It directs a dream
That erases smiles
And introduces screams
The theatre’s exit signs
Are all unlighted

It choreographs a dance
Of exhausted maneuvers
Around shards of broken heart

© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-06-29 12:37 PM


I really love this series

please do continue on writing
and I will be here nodding

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2004-06-29 12:42 PM


Astounding -- this series was already among the best poetry PIP has seen...that you are able to continue it without losing any of the intensity or creative drive is just...well, astounding.

Hats-off to you, Laura -- and toss 'em in the air!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-06-29 12:46 PM


"It directs a dream
That erases smiles
And introduces screams
The theatre’s exit signs
Are all unlighted

It choreographs a dance
Of exhausted maneuvers
Around shards of broken heart"

Yes, you have captured it well.
Very well said indeed.
Hugs~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-06-29 12:49 PM


Amazing!!
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

5 posted 2004-06-29 02:20 PM


this is the first I've read of your series - such a hard part of life
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2004-06-29 02:28 PM


You have woven a tapestry of grief and sadness ~ brilliantly! VERY well written, Dear Belle of the South, North, East and West!

I sense these poems on grief come from your very deep knowing through personal experience...

Comforting embrace,
EA

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
7 posted 2004-06-29 03:55 PM


There's no such thing as "Good Grief" is there gal?....Fine, fine write gal...
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

8 posted 2004-06-29 04:08 PM


Wow...!!

Eric

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
9 posted 2004-06-29 05:25 PM


PS: I'm not sure the 6th is the last... I don't seem to have much choice in the matter. LOL Thank you! *S*

Ratleader: Thank you, my friend... you are too kind... but I sure hope you don't stop. *S*

Enchantress: Thank you so much! *S*

Martie: Thank you! *S*

Copperbell: It is that... I thank you so much! *S*

EA: They turn me inside out... if that's any indication. *S* Thank you, my friend... for the comments and the comfort. *S*

Toerag: Only in Charlie Brown cartoons! *S* Thank you, my friend... so very much! *S*

Ericc: Thank you! *S*

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2004-06-29 06:38 PM


"In painter’s smock
Grief chooses a palette
That lacks yellow
There are no lavenders
Pinks or red
Only shades of bleak"

suthern -- you say it sooooo well.   .....jo

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2004-06-29 07:08 PM


In painter’s smock
Grief chooses a palette
That lacks yellow
There are no lavenders
Pinks or red
Only shades of bleak

The tapestry it weaves
Of broken threads
And unraveled edges
Has no resemblance
To the one we’d planned

It directs a dream
That erases smiles
And introduces screams
The theatre’s exit signs
Are all unlighted

It choreographs a dance
Of exhausted maneuvers
Around shards of broken heart
=============================


well you sure worked this one to a T...
totally captured your theme with your extended metaphors and personifications.
Cleverly written....  
just wish it didnt all have to be flet to give us such wisdom.
going on to see the next one....
the moth will be back.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
12 posted 2004-06-30 09:52 PM


Hi, so sorry you are in the midst of this pain. So very well written here, this terrible feeling.
Hugs
Sandra

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2004-07-02 09:48 AM


iliana, JM & catalina moon: Thank you so very much, kind ladies... I appreciate your comments very much! *S*
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
14 posted 2004-07-10 07:19 PM


Suthern beloved one, I can’t begin to express the wonder that is you, its rare in this world to find someone whose talent is matched by ability of extraordinary quality. That you possess both in abundance is clear even to the simple minded, that you then fail to trumpet your gift is incredible. You are modest in the extreme, and you have such an outstanding gift to write simply amazes me.

I cannot say often enough beloved one that your writing is exceptionally good, this series is utterly, utterly, amazing. Your ability to write such emotion is unmatched, that you continue to grace these pages with your gift is something that leaves me awed. YOU are a writer and I am blessed to call you my beloved sister of soul


Love you always
And forever
Mushy

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

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