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Open Poetry #32
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Perfect endings
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Perfect endings |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
She crossed my mind the other day and before I could abbreviate the thought, I’d remembered her face, her voice, her kiss and how she said good-bye a dozen times before she got it right. I thought of her on a summer night when lampposts swirled in Van Gogh rings against a starless sky, the ache of desire sweet as satisfaction. And as loss stirred faint embers among the hearts and keys, I poured a rum and Coke and told myself that perfect endings are just a matter of knowing when to leave. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan Smiling at the oxymoron in perfect and ending....and even when the door is closed, the memories remain. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
intresting |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I thought of her on a summer night when lampposts swirled in Van Gogh rings against a starless sky, Ooooh, love this. Another keeper. hugs, Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Duncan, great write! Made me think of Casa Blanca!  ......jo |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent...excellent write! Loved it! Hugs~ Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn, you got that right! and most of us just don't know |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The problem is, the perfect ending always leave me wanting more...yanno? sure y'do. Buy me a drink? and play it again, Sam.  out of all the poetry sites on the internet... (couldn't resist) great poem. perfect ending. can I have some more?  sigh. I'll try to sleep now. (my head feels like a pinball machine) |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... someone was wrong, right? *chuckling* loved every line, Dunc. ~tier  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and before I could abbreviate the thought, ---------------- and how she said good-bye a dozen times before she got it right. I thought of her on a summer night when lampposts swirled in Van Gogh rings against a starless sky, ------------------------- that perfect endings are just a matter of knowing when to leave. =============================== So many lines in this I liked... love the imagery and art gallery analogy... the "abbreviated thought" rocks!! very cool. I like the subtleties of this one... and of course your classic Duncan endings...yeppers... you do know about perfect endings...your style of poetry is always a lesson in the succinct, tight, contact and impact closure. So glad to see your muse came back with ya. Did ya see mine anywhere?  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"the ache of desire sweet as satisfaction." Loved that line. I don't think there is a perfect ending for anything nor a right time to leave..at least not for everyone involved. Welcome home!  "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan oxymoron reads good to me. LOL A keeper. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now who's impressed??? A perfect ending, indeed! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
feelin this one..... to the bone.... excellent write Duncan |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
and before I could abbreviate the thought ....... and how she said good-bye a dozen times before she got it right. ....... Ahhhh I love finding little beauties like this, with so many lines to quote, because between each one, is a thousand stories. Library, as usual. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Hey you, I loved that abbreviated thought! Now why didn't I think of that line? I could have used that goodie more than once.  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sure, where where you when I needed this advise Great write Duncan, and far too true. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
love the Van-Goggles, D-man. Interesting how "up-beat" this one feels. Likin' it. (the poem, not necessarily the up-beatishness) |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
I should get out here more often. I'd forgotten just how good your writing really is. As I sit here watching the election results (and my party isn't winning....yet..), you leave me pondering why some are always left wanting. Both those who are left, and those who do the leaving. Personally, I don't think it's any easier, whichever side of the leaving you're on. and how she said good-bye a dozen times before she got it right. Me, I'm giving up on hello's...that way there are no goodbye's. Gonna be a hermit on a hill (has ANYONE other than me ever seen that Monty Python sketch?????) Okay, this hermit's going back to her school work. Glad I crawled out of the shell for this write. (PS...betcha didn't even know we were having an election up here in the black spot didja???) You can never win or lose |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I read this the other day....meant to get back to it quicker, but I don't get in here much anymore. And? It looks as if anything I would say about this little bijou has already been said. One I'd like to have written, Duncdude |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Duncan, What a fool I've been.. Waiting much too long to read your writing. You do not disappoint, this was simply wonderful. SG |
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UniqueFreak Member
since 2004-01-09
Posts 62Scotland |
i think every ending is perfect, whats meant for you, wont pass you by...an end is always a new beginin! enjoyed this very much! Stephi |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I poured a rum and Coke and told myself that perfect endings are just a matter of knowing when to leave''' perfect indeed.... There's a place I like to hide-open your mind to me-Visualise your dream- Record it in the present tense, I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
just had to come back to this |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
Duncan, This poem packs a helluva' wallup! It is such a clear message. Reading it over a couple of times it just makes more sense to me. I thoroughly enjoyed the storyline. It was engaging and commanded all of my attention. It was refreshing. It's not often you run into a poem of this magnitude written in the manner in which you wrote it. It read as if I was watching an old Carey Grant or Humphrey Bogart movie. Was that the way it was intended? Anyway, I loved it. It's a keeper! Your poetic friend, Kevin |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Duncan, Had to return to this and read it again. It is stunning. It hits me pretty deep. And as loss stirred faint embers among the hearts and keys, I poured a rum and Coke and told myself that perfect endings are just a matter of knowing when to leave. Sadly, I have know this far too often in my time. Best to you. SG |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
that perfect endings are just a matter of knowing when to leave. Wishing you the best new start in knowing what is wise. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Somehow I knew this would be good, and meaningful to me. Hugs Sandra |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Well, I came back to tell you: I ain't leavin! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
LMAO...Kacy, you're a trip. Thanks everyone, I'll be back tomorrow to catch up properly... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I don't think anyone likes going there... but you've written the pain as clear as day. The hearts and keys say it all....Dear Duncan. darn those locks and chains, anyway!!! Reminds me of a song, you know the one? "and I won't read that book again because the ending's just too hard to take, so for now, lets be real" |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely penned m'friend... it's always been a pleasure |
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