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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2004-04-19 08:01 AM

Tempting Fate

Awake again,
to the sounds of Springtime.
Birds winging their way towards progress,
nesting for what comes tomorrow.
Restlessness becoming a habit
or is it the "waiting" that is strangling my hold,
inhibiting the artistry of my actions.

I can see you here,
watching over me behind soft whispers
and haunting thoughts,
twisted by the indecisions that keep me secluded
between walls of emptiness.

Preparing myself for the unexplained,
ingredients which I cannot alter,
just wanting enough to center me,
strengthen my reserve and tie together
the meaning of the last three years.

I have become tiresome to others,
not facing the mirror except for the makeup
used to conceal the hardship of aging,
always on the verge of, and fear
touching every part of me.

The old of me dies a little each day,
wishing for the backward times
when I looked forward
to the dawning of each new day.
Instead, I wrestle the pains that drill into me
making my once strong body seem fragile, weak.
Something I have never been.

I begin with words, ending with tears,
releasing this day's struggle.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

1 posted 2004-04-19 09:55 AM

Tempting fate of late?
Well perhaps it needs to wait,
Don’t worry of weak,
Go boldly out be not meek,
The future is yours to take.

Gloom

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

2 posted 2004-04-19 10:09 AM

liked this one

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-04-19 02:09 PM

Hugs and sending lotsa prayers your way

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

4 posted 2004-04-19 03:59 PM

Tears released can be good-much better than those bottled up, I'd say! I hope things brighten up.
Sadelite

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

5 posted 2004-04-19 04:55 PM

I hear ya!
JL

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2004-04-19 05:49 PM

Listen to the "prof", Maureen.

(and *wince*, I should too, I guess.)

I told my Dad once, that it used to be, I would wake, and if I were feeling poorly, it would kind of be a surprise--like, "Damn, I feel bad today."

Then I told him that as I aged, now, I wake and every now and then, I'm surprised to realize, "Damn, I feel good today!"

grin.

With his characteristic wit, he told me, "Just wait until you hit 'phase 3'--when you wake up and smile in surprise to realize, 'damn, I woke up today!'"

Hugs you.

Go enjoy some warm breezes.

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

7 posted 2004-04-19 09:12 PM

I often feel this way at times, since I have separated from my wife, yet the tranquility of your description of nature is a plus for me - where I live now.

Thanks for sharing, Maureen... and I enjoyed reading this!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

8 posted 2004-04-19 09:18 PM

P G, always makes me think of Parental Guidance needed....hmmm

Time will tell, I guess...whatever the future holds

MGROVES..thank you. I appreciate your reading.

LeeJ, I just hope those prayers are enough to get me through the next few months...thank you.

M

Sadelite, I was never one to stay bottled up...my father use to say there was never any lack of water in our house...even during a drought.

Thank you.

JL, glad you are listening

Karen, I always listen to him...the problem is I don't always take the advice...it's the "stubborn" in me...
Your Dad was pretty smart.

and I did go and enjoy the very warm breeze today.

M

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2004-04-19 09:32 PM

Thanks, O. Been a tough couple of years for me...unexpected happenings...a father's death, a 30 yr marriage ending, a sister's need of a liver transplant now complicated by inoperable lung cancer with only a few months left to live...me searching for a new career in a strained job market...

Some days I wonder why I bother waking up.

Sad to say that sometimes I am glad I am not
the only one going through these things.

M

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2004-04-20 04:46 AM

sending hugs

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