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Open Poetry #32
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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2004-06-01 02:56 PM



I have tried

for two years and change

to scrub the residue

of this feeling

from my skin



But always

a trace of feel remains

like a bad dream

staying with me

reminding me

of the secrets that sleep

in quiet mind,

whispering

that I might not forget



Though you explained

the whys of your lie

still my trust is punctured,

the enemy of the past

a sucking wound

until

I cannot catch my breath



Left again

with love and fear

wondering if

they always partner

or if I might hope

to cut in on the dance


Thanks Duncan!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

© Copyright 2004 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2004-06-01 02:58 PM


Excellent excellent duet Susan & Duncan!!
Wonderful blending of thoughts here...love it!
~Smiles & Hugs to you both, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
2 posted 2004-06-01 04:57 PM


But always

a trace of feel remains

like a bad dream

staying with me

reminding me

of the secrets that sleep

in quiet mind,

whispering

that I might not forget

Susan and Duncan! I want to quote the whole thing. You make me feel sane, as every line of this is real. Living with the past too closely, fearing the worst for the future.  

More wonderful than I have words to express!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

3 posted 2004-06-01 09:45 PM


Hmmmmm...change those words around just a bit and ya get "A Duncan Duet Like a Bad Dream".     
Thanks for giving me recognition as co-author Myrtle but the heart of the poem is yours, I just did a little editing.  

Thanks Nancy and Gem for your time and responses.  The due of this duet (especially the wierd format)...all goes to Susan.  

Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

4 posted 2004-06-01 10:49 PM


a fine blend of talent, can we expect more?
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-06-02 08:19 AM


Nancy~   Thank you for always taking the time!

Gemma~ I think we could exchange heartache forever...   

Duncan~   You know the main idea came from you!  (I was telling you how some dreams leave you feeling a certain way all day and I used your response in that conversation for the main theme in this piece, then you did the edit and wrote some.  That is how this one was born!) So take credit..

Ed~ Seems like every duet I do is not planned, it just happens...so who knows but thanks for reading and being my friend!


"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-06-10 02:30 AM


Could have sworn one person wrote this -- now that's a good duet.  
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
7 posted 2004-06-10 02:33 AM


However it was accomplished, my friends, it was wonderfully done.  Applause to you both.

jwesley

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-06-10 03:05 AM


excellent ending!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2004-06-10 04:38 AM


I've had a few...James
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2004-06-10 07:55 AM


Wonderful duet.  I LOVE seeing duets on the board.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2004-06-10 08:51 AM


Duets bring out the best in people, y'know?
Smiling here...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2004-06-10 08:59 AM


This is indeed a treat--and I wish I'd been in on that conversation.

thoughtful, interesting, and I particularly enjoyed the format.


Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
13 posted 2004-06-10 10:26 AM




WOW !!
BRAVA !!

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
14 posted 2004-06-10 03:50 PM


Still digging this muchos.
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

15 posted 2004-06-10 04:16 PM


Great write!

Eric

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