Open Poetry #32 |
Fortune favours the brave |
MERCURY Member
since 2003-04-16
Posts 190Ireland |
ITS A RAINY SOAKED NECK AFTERNOON A QUICK SQUINTED GLANCE SIDEWAYS TO ANOTHER OF LIFES DROWNED A BRIEF CALMING DRAG IN A MOMENT OF SHELTER LIFE AS ALWAYS MANAGES STILL TO ASTOUND AN OCCASSIONAL GRASP OF PANICKED AIR ECHOING A PNEUMATIC SOUND OF SILENCE AN AEROPLANE JETS BY VIA THE HEAVENS I GUESS MAN HAS PASSED THAT LICENCE MY HEARTS YEARNS FOR CALM LIKE A ZEBRA FELLED AND CAUGHT BY AN ALWAYS OVERPOWERING RELENTLESS TIGER WE JUST KNOW WE WILL BE OUTFOUGHT BUT FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BRAVE AND ITS PATHETIC TO GIVE UP TO THOSE OF US WHO ARE STILL TRUE TO LIFES CAUSE CONQUER WITHIN AND SHAPEUP FOR FEELINGS HAVE A HABIT OF CHANGING UNPREDICTABLE KNOWS NO END LIKE A SNOW COVERED MOUNTAIN CAUGHT IN A WHISPER TO THINK OF IT , LIFE IS A GODSEND FOR OUR MENTAL STATE IS FLUCTIONAL SOMETIMES EVEN OFF THE CHART FREQUENTLY MAKING A HELL OUT OF HEAVEN BUT LOVE IS ALL AROUND SO KEEP IT CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. |
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© Copyright 2004 MERCURY - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good message, but feels like you are screaming, when it's not needed. Lose the caps. I hear you just fine |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
loved the write, but I do agree with passing shadows on the caps thing...so I took the liberty of converting my favorite part of your poem to a friendlier format "for feelings have a habit of changing unpredictable knows no end like a snow covered mountain caught in a whisper to think of it , life is a godsend" |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Very much enjoyed the message of this, MERCURY. |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
this was good |
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