Open Poetry #32 |
Turn Around |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Turn Around I wipe the music from my eyes as he dances around the yard all flower grazes and yearns to feel the callus that burns his palm from the rake around you know and sometimes I am jealous of the garrulous garden the way he holds it and touches the dirt with his big hands and he listens to the chatter of the new green sprout yet cuts himself again with the thorns now densely reaching take me they say oh and he does with his tenderness he bleeds the music calls to me with words that fill the palace and fall out the open window into the cool-down sun and sometimes they are so big and sometimes so quiet that he needs to stand still long enough to hear my love voiced across the lawn onto the place where he digs for good feeling I wipe the music from my eyes turn around now I think to his silhouette against the melting crayon sky turn around and see my love ------------- re write from 11-18-02 |
||
© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Martie, Lovely garden! Words grow beneath your fingertips. Sade |
||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"I wipe the music from my eyes turn around now I think to his silhouette against the melting crayon sky turn around and see my love" Oooh so beautiful sweet lady! Hugs~ To have lived the dream of a love so true... |
||
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie You always amaze me with the way you say things. |
||
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ah Martie...softly beautiful. hugs, Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
||
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
So beautiful Marti. TD |
||
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Like Sy, I stand amazed as well. |
||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and sometimes I am jealous of the garrulous garden the way he holds it and touches the dirt with his big hands and he listens to the chatter of the new green sprout ========================= one of my sentimental faves of yours... gotta love a man with a green thumb. |
||
muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
beautiful images |
||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I"m not even sure what words to say for this... astounding |
||
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I wipe the music from my eyes turn around now I think to his silhouette against the melting crayon sky turn around and see my love ------------- Martie -- W O W, I loved this poem! |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I recognized this lovely from the first two lines... that tells me two things... I know good stuff... and I never, ever mind reading you over, and over again... |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sis~ I would think that this has to be Taylor's favorite poem of yours .... it's close to the top on my list~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I wipe the music from my eyes turn around now I think to his silhouette against the melting crayon sky turn around and see my love Martie, this gave me chills...very good write, but so bittersweet |
||
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I wipe the music from my eyes" ~ I could cry music from mine own eyes with the beauty of thy words... "and he listens to the chatter of the new green sprout" ~ He listens as do you, dear poetessa "turn around and see my love" ~ He need not see it with his eyes, he can feel it in his heart... Beautiful beyond mere mortal words, Dear Martie. EA |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I wouldn't mind a sequel that looks at the love and sees the same things... You're a modern-day romantic, Martie, and that's what I love about you... your ability to explore, disclose, and come into unity with the ever-present oneness of the phenomenal universe. You've treated your subject matter beautifully and sincerely... this is a testament to the beauty of your spirit. Much love, Brian |
||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This bowled me over...the imagery is just fabulous Martie, I love what you do to me with it. Mxx Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
||
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - I have seen this too - he is a very special person in the garden and I have someone close to me who tunes in similarly to how your poem paints - just loved it - give that gardener a hug for me - Paul |
||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Knowing the depth from which this came, is not enough. Second exposure is still not enough. I have no immunity to this poem, and no resistance to the twist of its threads....so I say, as I've said so often before; Martie, you're a marvel. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
You see shades, and more shades, and then suggest a couple of new ones. Marvelous! |
||
forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
When dealing with poetry, especially when one reads a LOT of poetry, you start noticing trends. You notice common metaphors. Repeated images. This is not neccisarily a bad thing, but some images over the centuries have simply become stock images. "the melting crayon sky"-- this is one of the most ORIGINAL and creative metaphors I've heard in a long time. Brilliant. I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry. |
||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I wipe the music from my eyes turn around now I think to his silhouette against the melting crayon sky turn around and see my love Adore those words, breathtaking image Martie |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - your heart writes, as always... BC |
||
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"I wipe the music from my eyes turn around now I think to his silhouette against the melting crayon sky turn around and see my love" Very cool image Martie..."melting crayon sky". Would be great if the love was as easy to grow as the garden, huh??? |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
one of the best I have read on these boards....just beautiful feeling and image ~~**~~ |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |