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Open Poetry #32
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2004-05-14 08:51 AM


the ever so familiar
banana plantations
and palm trees

the smell of freshness
like milk from a tender
coconut

the new taste of
the first piece of
Alphonso

the sound of
a horn blaring from
a steam driven train
that whizzes by
the dancing riverside
where washing ladies are busy
thrashing linen against
broad chested rocks
in a massive effort to clean
the stench and slime of
yesterday’s sweat

thoughts and scenes
arrive
like passengers
on a train
to disembark
into the station
of my mind
to evoke memories
that I never knew
to have
existed

~

is it not peculiar
how at the moments
when we expect least
our senses are
rejuvenated
awakened
by a place
we love
to call

home

-------------

I would like your help on the title... if you could help... please...

© Copyright 2004 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2004-05-14 09:13 AM


thoughts and scenes
arrive
like passengers
on a train
to disembark
into the station
of my mind
to evoke memories
that I never knew
to have
existed
lovely...

Sudhir, the only thing I could think of whch is not very original..

"Last Stop...Home"


M


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-05-14 12:18 PM


love it the way it is!
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

3 posted 2004-05-14 12:32 PM


Sudhir lyer,
   This is an outstanding piece of writing.
The scenery was easily visualized. Enjoyed very much...  

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

4 posted 2004-05-14 02:25 PM



The title pulled me in, Sudhir...
but the poem kept me.
Leave well enough alone...

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-05-14 02:44 PM


Excellent -- I could picture this.

Susan

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
6 posted 2004-05-14 04:54 PM


I like the title you have.  I like the poem too-it took me away from Texas into another world.  

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-05-14 04:57 PM


This took me on a journey.  You really paint the scenery well!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2004-05-14 05:39 PM


SudhirMyFriend~
I simply love the all of it~
Pefect ... and I was onboard~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2004-05-15 12:31 PM


Nice descriptive writing...I like "Home" as a title...reminded me of a song sung by Tom Jones called "The Green, Green Grass of Home"...James
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2004-05-27 09:24 AM


Thanking you all so very much... for your responses and your suggestions...

Regards
Sudhir

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