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Open Poetry #31
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Fire on the Sea
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Fire on the Sea |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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~*~ It was not my intent to fly away after spreading my wings misdirecting the wind changing the tides we knew by heart. We were trespassing along the same edge that was too jagged and sharp ignoring the danger signs. Breaking apart in the sand a casting off in the distance leaving footprints covered up in the silence. We lived our lives for sun days that never were chasing the sky forever until it set fire on the sea. More than a moments warmth burning incessantly knowing it would blow over in time realizing we couldn't claim it for an eternity. There is so much I can't recall anymore and I ponder loves existence as it breaks against the wall. Except for the truth that held us back and kept us close but even then we were drifting through an emotional blaze. Burning down to the core struck by a match with a twist and a fate that would grant only this. ~*~ [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (02-11-2004 12:12 AM).] |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Excellence...what a perfect metaphor -- wish I'd thought of it, though I doubt I'd have used it as well as you have. "We lived our lives for sun days that never were chasing the sky forever until it set fire on the sea." And the atmosphere you set with progressive images like this is just superb. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I love how you speak truth in all your words....hugsss lady...love the new pic too....  ~~**~~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Bluesy, somehow, you are able to create magic from the elements in so many different ways -- a true gift! Enjoyed! .....jo |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
“There is so much I can't recall anymore and I ponder loves existence as it breaks against the wall. Except for the truth that held us back and kept us close but even then we were drifting through an emotional blaze. Burning down to the core stuck by a match with a twist and a fate that would grant only this.” Oh Blusey, this put an ache in my gut, and a tear in my heart... I hope, the warm embers glowing deep inside, never wane... And that sincerity and tenderness, always holds you, and keeps you, always...  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I'm just getting used to the idea is all! Thank you for reading, Ed, Lauren, iliana, and Richy. Your caring thoughts mean a great deal to me. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Breaking apart in the sand a casting off in the distance leaving footprints covered up in the silence. We lived our lives for sun days that never were chasing the sky forever until it set fire on the sea. ================================= you already know I love this one...ya know how I love when you write of the ocean.. very well done girlie...metaphor and expression. The work of language deserves our greatest care ... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lori Beautiful from the heart writing with some powerful images. Hugs! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Janet Marie and Martie~ I'm so happy to see you here tonight. Thanks a bunch for reading me. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
It was not my intent to fly away after spreading my wings misdirecting the wind changing the tides we knew by heart. Lori, you had me from the very beginning of this one. But then, you know I love all of yours.  Hugs, my friend  Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you know how deep this struck me, I know you know |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You just keep getting better and better... this is superb! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"We lived our lives for sun days that never were chasing the sky forever until it set fire on the sea." Some very cool lines in this Bluesy, especially like this verse. Reminded me of some great summers...  |
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