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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2004-02-05 03:28 AM

The phone lines
have been severed, I
can't reach you..
So I must send
a letter instead, in hopes
that you may find it
drifting in the wind.

Here, my words whirl in confusion,
twisting and turning in their imperfection,
getting lost along the way.
Throwing themselves at the fire,
hanging themselves upon crucifixes,
shouting
"I am blasphemous, I am untrue!"
My words have been traitors,
they have been friends,
they have led and followed..just
as you have.
Yet they are dominated,
controlled,
denied drink, since
when would thirst be left without water?
Dry and curious,
dying slowly in a bitter state..

I can't help but wonder
if I were born into slavery,
my chains have my name
written upon them.
And you,
you who have given me nothing but
that which belonged to me to begin with..

I will not grant forgiveness,
as you've not given my hunger food.

My words are not modern in cursive poses
that wring themselves around eachother,
in order to cause asphyxiation to
the poet.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

1 posted 2004-02-05 03:41 AM

There’s nothing imperfect or confusing about
the words you write Kaoru.

In fact, they’re inspiring

And I’m so lucky to read them

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-02-05 03:59 AM

"My words are not modern in cursive poses
that wring themselves around eachother,
in order to cause asphyxiation to
the poet."

I'm trying to get out of that habit.

I love this poem and I love your writing.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2004-02-05 06:53 AM

...I
can't reach you..
So I must send
a letter instead, in hopes
that you may find it
drifting in the wind.

Here, my words whirl in confusion,
twisting and turning in their imperfection,
getting lost along the way.
Throwing themselves at the fire,

~*~

...this, the part that I understood best...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2004-02-05 08:39 AM

"My words are not modern in cursive poses
that wring themselves around eachother,
in order to cause asphyxiation to
the poet."

I relate to this..but believe me your words are understood.

Excellent write as always.
Hugs~

~ I like not only to be loved,
   but to be told I am loved ~

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

5 posted 2004-02-05 08:58 AM

nice

HopeS
Member Elite

since 2000-12-22

Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

6 posted 2004-02-05 09:02 AM

Truly understood , emotions came through very clear

Hope

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

7 posted 2004-02-05 10:49 AM

No one expresses rawness and truth better.

Eric

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2004-02-05 03:10 PM

My words are not modern in cursive poses
that wring themselves around each other,
in order to cause asphyxiation to
the poet.

Fantastic!.. absolutely.

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

9 posted 2004-02-06 08:50 AM

your words hit with impact each time

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2004-02-06 09:47 AM

enjoyed

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

11 posted 2004-02-06 12:59 PM

"Throwing themselves at the fire,
hanging themselves upon crucifixes"

What a visual!

You do it well...

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

12 posted 2004-02-06 01:03 PM

You're a tremendously expressive writer!

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

13 posted 2004-02-06 03:12 PM

I agree, a tremendous writer indeed.

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

14 posted 2004-02-06 03:25 PM

Very much enjoy your writing. Great use of symbolization in this one!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

15 posted 2004-02-06 04:00 PM

You express rawness wonderfully.

M

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