Open Poetry #31 |
A Foreign Place |
gadfly4you Junior Member
since 2004-01-24
Posts 37 |
A Foreign Place Strange restaurants seem so familiar. The same smoky brown bottles of beer sit at the same tables constantly kissing old friends. While the same waiter with the frayed cuffs asks the same question. “Would you like the spicy chicken soup”. The grainy sidewalk spits tiny shards of light, small fireflies under the hazy glow of the streetlights. The streets seem black and bold like a thick marker drawn down a clean sheet of paper. I learn to walk down them, head straight now hand empty, only two feet. My tongue and teeth have become strangers. I must introduce them. Words that came so easily, now sit unspoken in my chest looking up through a periscope for their home. I open the door, drop the keys on the dresser and head upstairs. Where two years later your slippers still sit at the foot of our bed |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
"My tongue and teeth have become strangers. I must introduce them. Words that came so easily, now sit unspoken in my chest looking up through a periscope for their home." Creatively expressed! Thanks for posting this. That image sticks... Sadelite |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
My tongue and teeth have become strangers. I must introduce them. I do like the way you worded this. Deliciously stringed together to define a precisely odd thing. Moving piece. Makes me appreciate the warmth still left in my husbands shoes from earlier today... McLean |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Very powerful imagry here and strong use of metaphors and a simile, but the most powerful image is the impression of a lost significant other and the attempt at coping with that reality. -MVS You CAN make a difference: http://educate-yourself.org/ [This message has been edited by MARK V SHELDON (02-04-2004 02:03 AM).] |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
How well you show the tender of the tough...your writes are very honest, and real, and I find myself crying the tears. TD |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big angel hugs) This is so deeply heartfelt, sweet friend, it certainly is a foreign place I think seems all too familiar to us all and my heart goes out to you and your loss, God Bless You, know we all think of you very much and are always here if you need someone to talk to, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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celestecat Junior Member
since 2004-02-02
Posts 29 |
This is beautiful...the best poem I have read here, which is saying a lot as I have enjoyed all the poems...wonderful. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Oh...so many excellent lines in this... Wonderfully written...I truly enjoyed... "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
chilling and familiar, ive felt this way |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Really, really good! |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Many amazing lines in this poem, well expressed and beautifully put together! |
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