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Open Poetry #31
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-04-04 10:55 AM



{so that I may remember
each day since our meeting}



~
Holding in my mind
the bare abandoned
images  of you

again tender
of earth   broken  once-- with
   rare gifts  now burnt ash

here I will fall    in yesterdays dust
slipping   silently across night

for more peace  --  I  inhale

stone by stone, grain by grain--
speak to me  of memories
and love of children
how happiness should
be a four letter word
wrapped in silk

one letter  bordering the
other with smoke shadows

between what we meant to say

reduce       the  dance
to  darkness  

so that
in your hands tonight

as our palms touch water
I will finally see
         your paintings

reminding me
the only distance between
dust and ash

is the echo


~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2004-04-04 11:17 AM


Some truly profound thoughts so powerfully expressed.
Communication seems a great challenge most of the time!

PS What a infinitely charming girl you are!
Love this new photo. It sparkles.
Love, Margherita

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
2 posted 2004-04-04 11:31 AM


Very well written.
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2004-04-04 12:33 PM


... and this piece will echo in my mind for quite a while.

1derfully written!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2004-04-04 01:00 PM


"one letter  bordering the
other with smoke shadows

between what we meant to say

reduce       the  dance
to  darkness  

so that
in your hands tonight

as our palms touch water
I will finally see
         your paintings

reminding me
the only distance between
dust and ash

is the echo"

I'm not sure why but this reminded me of hearing a train whistle in the night...a lonely, lonely sound.  Excellent write Lauren...  


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-04-04 01:11 PM


"so that
in your hands tonight

as our palms touch water
I will finally see
         your paintings

reminding me
the only distance between
dust and ash

is the echo"

Wow....beautiful Lauren.
Love ya pretty lady~

  ~Before befriending butterflies
you have to meet with midnight moths.~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-04-04 01:21 PM


oh, I knew this would be good just by the title!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2004-04-04 01:34 PM


Lauren

I know I've told you how lovely you are...I say it again.  This is an expression of that.  

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
8 posted 2004-04-04 02:05 PM


As I have said before....only as our Lauren can write it! Awesome. Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2004-04-04 03:23 PM


Lauren~ Your poetry is a fragile beauty.
You draw the lines so fine, exquisitely.


Holding in my mind
the bare abandoned
images  of you

again tender

Love that!  ~hugs you~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2004-04-04 04:48 PM


how happiness should
be a four letter word
wrapped in silk

lovely Lauren...I find a peacefulness in your words

hugs
Maureen

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
11 posted 2004-04-04 09:08 PM


Oh God, how beautiful! You've always been a part of my muse; thank you for letting me remember how I used to write. Slowly, I can reclaim my words..

as our palms touch water
I will finally see
         your paintings

If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
12 posted 2004-04-04 09:46 PM


So nice to read you again.

Just a great read here...Emotive.

bslicker
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
13 posted 2004-04-04 09:47 PM



bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2004-04-05 08:35 AM


one letter  bordering the
other with smoke shadows

between what we meant to say


reduce       the  dance
to  darkness  

so that
in your hands tonight

as our palms touch water
I will finally see
         your paintings

reminding me
the only distance between
dust and ash

is the echo

===========================

oh how I love when you haunt me butterfly-lovely with your words....
this one has an incantation of exquisite in its imagery and intend.
Beautiful expressions L-girlie.


Home is a feeling I buried in you ...
I'm alright, I'm alright ... It only hurts when I breathe ...

M.E.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

15 posted 2004-04-05 08:40 AM


(bowing)... to the master at touching with words..

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
16 posted 2004-04-05 08:06 PM


love to all and thank you for such beautiful replies....hugsssss

~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
17 posted 2004-04-06 09:18 AM


Lauren:

**sighs** no one writes quite like you
do my sweet friend...as always this
is beyond words! Beautiful, poignant,
and very moving to say the least. I've
missed you.
Take care
Love ya,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2004-04-06 09:22 AM


"how happiness should
be a four letter word
wrapped in silk"

~ How do you keep coming up with such creative and memorable lines?!?


Linda

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
19 posted 2004-04-06 11:33 PM


Truly a beautiful write.
The title beckoned me...and the echo left a tear.
TD

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
20 posted 2004-04-08 12:28 PM


Echoes........


memories do that. Repeat in the mind.
hmm....


Juju

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

21 posted 2004-04-08 09:39 AM


*long slow sigh* am speechless at how beautiful this is.......*starts the applause*
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
22 posted 2004-04-08 10:23 AM


Lauren, I know that I've told you before,
but I will again......your breatakingly beautiful
writing amazes me, my friend.
Hugs,
Ethel

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
23 posted 2004-04-09 02:33 AM


No only did I feel the reverb of that echo tonight, I am sure I will feel it again.  Lady, this was a true keeper!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
24 posted 2004-04-10 08:16 PM


Lovely...James
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
25 posted 2004-04-10 08:30 PM


Profound beauty!   ......jo
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