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D'sWhisper
Member

since 2003-06-16

Posts 68
Washington, USA

0 posted 2004-04-01 06:31 AM

The circles light

Whispers shaky fallacies

About the thought of night

And crows the sorrows

Of the drunken genius plight

When the moon swallows

The secret infests

Biting crusted kisses

Born regret, Mirth in grip,

Light creeps within shadows

The baby hisses, the pain slips

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2004-04-01 07:08 AM

Very thought provoking but I'm afraid you swivled my mind. However, that's not a hard job.
I enjoyed the muse.

Eric

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

2 posted 2004-04-01 09:34 AM

Ok, I've been swiveled now. This is such a creative write, I've enjoyed reading it over and over again! Love these words:

"And crows the sorrows

Of the drunken genius plight

When the moon swallows"

Love the red moon at the pivotal point, wow!
It's a keeper.......~K~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2004-04-01 09:50 AM

I must admit that I am a pretty straight-forward thinker and some poems that I read can "swivel" my mind! ~ as did this one! lol ~ and that can be a good thing! At times I am far too linear!

I very much enjoyed the following line: "Light creeps within shadows" ~ Oh, yes! I can picture that one quite easily! ~ and appreciate it!

EA

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2004-04-01 09:54 AM

I just had to go back and read your poem again! You see! It is thought-provoking! If you meant to say the baby "kisses" instead of "hisses", then the poem makes more sense to me! lol The love of a baby can drain any pain!