Open Poetry #31 |
and that is my greatest loss |
mytuesdaywishes Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254a voice from the musicbox |
you were something i never understood where you wandered off to when your eyelids came between us i remember coming to the parking lot just to watch you thrive among the best in your brave summer skin three years ago it was that was before we became what can only be described as the single instance in modern day history of two people really breaking free of the gravity of things and that is my sweetest scar you with your uncommon grace and your intense way of understanding and me with my unfaltering idealism and sugary lack of tact we were so brilliant together and i was sure i had the world figured out then truth was i didn't even know myself well enough to be misunderstood but you were older at heart and you forced me to love myself when you told me i changed life for you i laughed because i knew you had forever changed me and that is my proudest moment you were the kind to hide from the day and i was the kind to shield you then but i was the kind to wake up at night and you were the kind to fight off my demons you had a lazy way of leaving though always at a dreamlike pace that made me think you were never coming back it was your quiet way of making times precious and that is my rarest memory the last time you walked away from me me who learned about life from your tiptoeing benevolence me who grew up next to you on busrides to glorified band concerts me who will always love you the last time you left me it was hurried and alarming not like all the other times when you ambled through my afternoons smiling carefully and flawlessly at the beautiful disaster we had created that last time you walked away from this girl a blink disguised your exit and only pieces of you looked back at all to see we had lost something the silence had become ugly and that is my greatest regret joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless... |
||
© Copyright 2004 Rachael - All Rights Reserved | |||
Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Excellent display of intuitive talent! Some very good images, rythmic! Grover. |
||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
MTW..... that was before we became what can only be described as the single instance in modern day history of two people really breaking free of the gravity of things and that is my sweetest scar you with your uncommon grace and your intense way of understanding and me with my unfaltering idealism and sugary lack of tact we were so brilliant together and i was sure i had the world figured out then when you told me i changed life for you i laughed because i knew you had forever changed me you had a lazy way of leaving though always at a dreamlike pace that made me think you were never coming back it was your quiet way of making times precious and that is my rarest memory the last time you walked away from me me who learned about life from your tiptoeing benevolence me who grew up next to you on busrides to glorified band concerts me who will always love you the last time you left me it was hurried and alarming not like all the other times when you ambled through my afternoons smiling carefully and flawlessly at the beautiful disaster we had created Love it. I felt a kind of hush. A moment to hold Maree Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. (by Virginia Woolf) |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
you were something i never understood where you wandered off to when your eyelids came between us ~*~ From the beginning, you indicate great promise with this. An immediate knowing that "love is fleeting". Enjoyed this very much, dear. Thank you. |
||
muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
"the silence had become ugly and that is my greatest regret" you said some things here that really "hit home" with me, and as Maree said I also felt a "kind of hush,a moment to hold" |
||
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Outstanding write. TD |
||
MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
beautiful!! |
||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
mtdw You have a talent of writing truth of feeling with fresh images. Well done! |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
TuesdayWishes~ 'where you wandered off to when your eyelids came between us' Originality galore in this beauty ...~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wow!! Just WOW!!! Hugs~ ~The breeze that kissed you on the face, |
||
SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Wow, this was fabulous. You have fantastic potential. I truly enjoyed this. MOVING, yes very. Let's have much more. Thank you very much. SG |
||
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Sigh....... I liked it alot. Juju |
||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
know this well |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |