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Open Poetry #31
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The voyage out
| Open Poetry #31 |
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The voyage out |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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The voyage out Empty, she sits in rock of chair her floral dress in tease of air her trembling hand just resting there with cigarette gossamer within the high lamp of sun her eyes peg what’s come undone the liken state of myrmidon her footless chapters on the run and in creep of grey and white her verse is of a violent write that she may not sight this night birth of fledged full moon-light. 22/03/04 Note: I don't know where this came from; I never rhyme heh. With thanks to Karilea for advice given  Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
you still manage to maintain a darker beauty amongst the rhyming... so very much enjoyed this  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
within the high lamp of sun her eyes peg what’s come undone the liken state of myrmidon her footless chapters on the run Goodness, if that isn't a thought to ponder over and over... It doesn't matter where this came from, sometimes our feelings are hidden, even from ourselves. I'm just so happy to read you here tonight. Hugs~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Left me wanting "the voyage" to continue... mucho enjoyed...jwesley |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree...You always touch a deep place in me...I appreciate your muse, and you.  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
first time for everything....great piece! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, wherever it came from, I hope it has a large family there! This is excellent, Maree. I recognize your special talent in free verse and you are certainly no slouch in structured form, either. Extremely clever lines, m'lady  |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
her footless chapters on the run thanks for the peek at your chapters nice style and cute picture  ....... |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Looking forward to more, wherever that came from! This is just brilliantly written. ~K~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Maree, it was all yours, all the time...and it remains your baby, even as you share your talents with the world... thank you for that! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
her trembling hand just resting there with cigarette gossamer within the high lamp of sun her eyes peg what’s come undone the liken state of myrmidon her footless chapters on the run ================================= rhyme happens!!!! woo hoo...Im loving this side of your pen!! You still held your unique imagery and vocab qualities while wrapping the words in rhyme. Cool write poetess Maree-girlie. the liken state of myrmidon her footless chapters on the run how cool is that .... waaaaay cool. Home is a feeling I buried in you ... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you muted for your lovely comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed. Ms Blues, yes..so very true, sometimes they are hidden from us. hugs. Thank you. jwesley, ahh perhaps you'll have to search for a part II. Thanks for stopping by and reading Martie...  Thank you my dear friend...likewise Passing shadows, there certainly is...thanks Balladeer, yanno I'm hoping it has a large family too..I quite enjoyed writing it. 'Deer I thank you for the compliment..lit means so much to me that it came from you like I said I don't know where it came from lol I do hope however, it stays. back at ya. Aujussy wolf... thank you for your lovely reply. and for the "cute picture" heh Kahlil, Thanks for the "brilliant" *smiling* I hope there is more as well. Karilea, if you had not given ME the advice that you did, the poem would not have been the same. So I thank you mysunshineygirl JM, glad you enjoyed and thank you for your lovely comments. Thank you all so very much. Maree. Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Angel With a move of a heart Swinging life You gave life Dave |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Hehehe, I thought there was something odd about this one... Rhymes, huh? whodathunkit? Nice! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Maree, a whole canvas was painted masterfully in shades of grey and blue -- very good! |
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EternitysHorizon Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 145Twilight's Orchestra |
Voyage out worst always trembling new canvas wonders within as about stout for waters unknown uncharted unsung and unsounded Nicely done and a dabble in and out of rhyme never hurts- might even add some color to pallette "High on the Mountain, where the Sun stil Shines, and the water runs a little lazy." |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
just read this again and ... want more of this tale...loved it. jwesley |
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