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Open Poetry #31
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Pride
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Pride |
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whiteycg Junior Member
since 2004-01-24
Posts 11 |
This is a song I wrote about my own bad habbits... PRIDE Stopped at the light I tightened my grip Waited for the signal and let them rip Blew right past granny and gramps Cut’em off and flashed my lamps I just liked to hear the big tires scream Sound of the motor was every car’s dream Revved up my engine shifted the gears I liked to see cars fade in my mirrors Chorus 1: You might say he’s fast but he just doesn’t obey His life will change and he’s going to pay He’s pushing his engine to the very last mark Its getting closer and his future looks dark It was so peaceful at one hundred and thirty Purr of the engine grew loud in a hurry Slowed it down to come over the hill Passing cars like they were standing still There was one car I just couldn’t beat Had flashing lights and a big back seat I put my pedal to the floor and let it go Faster and faster but still too slow Chorus 2: You might say he’s crazy but he just can’t stop His life is going to change in the cuffs of a cop Adrenaline is pumping and its coming so fast That may have been the last car he’d ever pass I swerved and weaved in hot pursuit My only chance to escape the bright orange suit I lost control of the beast and it shook my life Eight car pile up that took my beautiful wife I wished I never went on the ride The one that killed my beautiful pride The mistake that I pay for every day Jail is my home and I’m here to stay Chorus 3: You might say he’s sad and he’s done his time His life had to change because he did the crime Reminded every day by the scars on his face He’ll never forget how he lost the race |
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| © Copyright 2004 whiteycg - All Rights Reserved | |||
muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
first, this flows perfectly.. second, you managed to convey a very serious message in a way anyone could understand and relate to in some way... this is a *knockout* of a first post... ~WELCOME~ hope to read you again... |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggsssssss) Sadly these things happen ever so much, too much, and accidents happen and though it may sound unfair, the price has to be paid in times like these! I send angel comfort hugs your way, sweet friend, this is a powerful debut! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your wonderful words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!   May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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whiteycg Junior Member
since 2004-01-24
Posts 11 |
thanks guys... i like to tell stories like these in my poems... most of them end up being songs.. i can't believe this forum moves so fast, i got a reply in minutes |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Hi, and Welcome to Passions we are glad you have joined our circle of friends, and family…. you fit nicely here...wonderfulfirst post! please check your email for a special greeting Kindly Greeneyes~  ~~**~~ I lie awake at night I reach out to touch Feel you by my side I reach I never feel you Will I ever get to feel you again Just one more time |
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whiteycg Junior Member
since 2004-01-24
Posts 11 |
thanks... i only have 9 poems... i don't write very often so i'm kindof surprised that i got a good reaction from everyone... i'll keep trying to post more often... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Whitey~ Welcome to the fast-paced PiP forums~  Nice entry ... with a subtle message of a lesson sadly learned~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
Welcome to our happy blue pages, oxymoronic as it sounds! This is a tragic write, in fabel-ish style, which I enjoy reading. Yes, indeed, his life was changed, just as ours will be from learning through your posts. Nice to have you aboard. McLean |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I really liked the message and form you used for this poem. Welcome to Passions. |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
kind of brings back memories of a 55 chevy, and a few tickets... enjoyed. |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Welcome Whiteycg. Interesting first post. Made me think. I drive anywhere from 70 to 100mph on trips of 10 miles or more. Don't know why, I just do. This first post flowed and has inspired me to slow down. I do have a loved ones to think about at home. Thanks for the inspiration. You've opened my eyes with this one. Garfield |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
well...I'm a leadfoot...usual cruising speed is 70...it's hard to work till midnight and go home with an open clear road and not take it for all it's worth...regardless of uncertainty. Welcome to Passions  |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
lol @ Dixie... great post whiteycg....Welcome!!! "Painting is poetry which is seen and not heard, and poetry is a painting which is heard but not seen." ~Leonardo da Vinci |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Welcome to Passions. This would make a good song. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Welcome to the Blue Pages!!! I don't drive yet, but I know I do love going fast when I know I'm with a quick and cautious driver. Guess I should be a bit more careful still. I think you'll like it here in these fast forums! Keep writing, we'll keep reading  Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS! Much enjoyed your entrance post! I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ I like not only to be loved, |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Welcome to Passions In Poetry. I enjoyed reading your first post. It was written very well with a very good message. Thank you for sharing it with us. Hugs Ethel |
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