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Open Poetry #31
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Promises to Keep
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Promises to Keep |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I slept a few hours at the edge of the woods that opened onto the cemetery, then spent the next three days stumbling between Jake’s Place and Weasel’s, until a town cop offered to put me up for the night if I was needin’ accommodations. I thanked him clearly as I could, then recited a verse from a poem I’d always associated with my mother. I didn’t know why I said it, then or now. Then, as now, it was a late summer evening... A Tuesday, so Mama and her friends from town were goin’ to the Coral Castle for somethin’ called ladies night. She liked Tuesday’s for just that reason and was almost dancin’ down the front steps of my Grandma’s house, waving her hat towards me in good-bye as I sat cross-legged on the porch swing, dropping mostly unsnapped peas into a sack below me and grumblin’ about havin’ to be in before dark. “What do you need to do so badly after dark Jackson?” Her foot stopped on the last step as she asked the question but I could see the rest of her strainin’ to climb into the powder blue Thunderbird idling impatiently in front of the house. “Nothin’, I just wanna play in the woods” I stated it as I would’ve a request to go to Sunday School. But my tone was lost to her as she heard the word ‘woods’ and she responded as she always did, “Gram doesn’t like you to be in the woods after dark, she says it’s not safe.” “It’s plenty safe. It ain’t nothin’ but some trees Ma.” I struggled to keep the pitch of my voice from rising to a whine knowing if I did, she would turn me off like a light switch. “It’s like that poem you’re always sayin’” I almost shouted, as I saw her weight shift to step down into the yard. She continued her momentum but asked “What poem?” “The woods are lovely, dark and deep.” I recited the one line, running the words all together just wanting off that porch and away from those snap peas. “The woods are lovely, dark and deep but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.” she recited in her turn... but slowly, deliberately. “Yeah, that one.” I said, noting something had pleased her. “Go play Jackson. Maybe you’ll write about it someday.” She smiled and waved out the window as the tires made small dust storms down the length of the dirt drive and I ran towards the trees. . Now, on this Tuesday and after reciting the same verse for reasons that were never clear to me, I walked away headed towards the south side of town tapping the bottle in my pocket with a rhythm that willed me to put one foot in front of the other without falling, until I came to where Lake Purdy Road curved into the back of Iambe’s property. I didn’t expect any light to be burning and none was. I let myself in and passed out on the couch, shortly after. And there I remained until late afternoon two days later. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Dang!!! YES!!! This...THIS is fantastic...and well worth the wait!! I'm smilin' ear to ear... *'Tis also one of my favourites*  I do hope you have more in mind..pleeease. I didn't want it to end..nope..there has to be more. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ Poetry is not an opinion expressed... it is a song that rises from a bleeding wound ...or a smiling mouth. ~ Kahlil Gibran |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Ah yes, promises to keep! I enjoyed this beautiful piece greatly. It makes me sigh ... Love, Margherita  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Thank you Nancy. Maybe I'll tape your response to the screen, see if it inspires me to spend a bit more time on these.  Thanks for the read Margherita! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I didn’t expect any light to be burning and none was. ~*~ Wanna bet?  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Speaking of inspiration...Hi Kari!! By the time Jackson catches up with Konrad, he'll be an old man... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan Good lead for a short story, enjoyed the read. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I see you haven't been wasting time on that porch. Nice shelling job, goober! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Thanks for writing that My brother used to do that until the bottle walked him Dave |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She liked Tuesday’s for just that reason and was almost dancin’ down the front steps of my Grandma’s house, waving her hat towards me in good-bye “What do you need to do so badly after dark Jackson?” Her foot stopped on the last step as she asked the question but I could see the rest of her strainin’ to climb into the powder blue Thunderbird idling impatiently in front of the house. “Nothin’, I just wanna play in the woods” I stated it as I would’ve a request to go to Sunday School. “It’s plenty safe. It ain’t nothin’ but some trees Ma.” I struggled to keep the pitch of my voice from rising to a whine knowing if I did, she would turn me off like a light switch. “It’s like that poem you’re always sayin’” I almost shouted, as I saw her weight shift to step down into the yard. She continued her momentum but asked “What poem?” “The woods are lovely, dark and deep.” I recited the one line, running the words all together just wanting off that porch and away from those snap peas. “The woods are lovely, dark and deep but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.” she recited in her turn... but slowly, deliberately. “Yeah, that one.” I said, noting something had pleased her. “Go play Jackson. Maybe you’ll write about it someday.” She smiled and waved out the window as the tires made small dust storms down the length of the dirt drive and I ran towards the trees. ----------------------------- this was cooler than you know.... the way you wrote this I could see her...feel her...smell her perfume.. and was almost dancin’ down the front steps of my Grandma’s house, I love the mood you created with her...and the chemistry between the 2 of them... add to that one of my fave poems being the centerpiece and I am moth giddy. This was a delightful vignette of character study...you set the scene with out heavy detail and imagery and yet still allowed the reader to see the personality of each... Bout time Jackson blew back in here..... and yep...Kari left a light on Now...about that place called Weasels??? Where was that at again?  ( the next parts on the way right???) yayaya Home is a feeling I buried in you ... |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
Well Duncan this was pretty awesome bud. Draws the reader right in and makes them feel like they are right there watching it all transpire. Let's see some more! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan...it takes sensitivity to make a character human...you have done that! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
oh, so good, sooo good...want to see more of this! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I see the human spirit is alive and well in this poem of yours. I really liked the way you portrayed some hard truths that come with age, as well as the innocence of youth as seen through a young mans eyes. Besides that you tapped into a very special memory for me, and colored it powder blue...such is the beauty of poetry, and I thank you for that Duncan~ It is indeed a purdy road you went down and brought to life. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Much enjoyed this excellent write. Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I read this earlier but don't know what happened...I menat to reply... good story |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
duncan...this IS incredible...!!! |
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