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Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2004-01-24 07:58 PM

13 minutes

one breath
caught between here
and there
heaven
balances on the exhale

©snow

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

1 posted 2004-01-24 08:07 PM

i may be reading this to fit my emotions, but
i know what its like "holding your breath" this way..

and you have simply stated something to me that is very profound.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2004-01-24 08:26 PM

(sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is succinct with serenity and calm, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Snow, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

McLean
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 484
state of marital bliss

3 posted 2004-01-24 09:46 PM

I don't know really why, but this speaks to me something foreign, and soothing. Was that your intention?

McLean

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2004-01-24 09:57 PM

The edge...

Liking this very much.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

5 posted 2004-01-24 10:18 PM

you amaze...always

I lie awake at night
I reach out to touch
Feel you by my side
I reach I never feel you
Will I ever get to feel you again
Just one more time

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

6 posted 2004-01-24 10:28 PM

muted ... "i may be reading this to fit my emotions"

what you have said here, is exactly my own thought when it comes to those who read me.
i'll explain... which will also answer the question that McLean asked... (i hope)

i believe that when we read a poem, we take away from it what we need, or want, or desire.. and on and on.. where ever our mind is at, in that moment, when we read.
for the most part, my poetry is in layers... if you know me well enough you might be able to see them.. but i don't show each layer easily. it's my defense. it's how i can write about myself (at times) and still keep the poem grey enough for the reader to see him/herself.. at least i hope so.

so for me, sometimes the best compliment i can get is for someone to tell me where my poem took them.. or how they felt.. and have it be very different than that very bottom layer, which is me.

and... if you've managed to read this ramble, then i thank you... very very much!!

Thank you all for the comments, for as much as some of you have said here and in email, that i move you.... you've done that and more for me.

hugs,
snow
"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

7 posted 2004-01-25 02:58 PM

<---but then again, you already knew that, didn't you?

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

8 posted 2004-01-26 11:22 AM

did i ? *grin*

"...why does my skeleton pursue me
if my soul has fallen away?"
~p.neruda

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

9 posted 2004-01-26 11:31 AM

Waiting to exhale,,,,,,never in a hurry to do so,,,when the breath i took, came from him,,,,,
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

10 posted 2004-01-27 01:54 PM

snow, sorry I missed this one earlier...it is such an exquisite write...and I loved this gem of a line:

"heaven
balances on the exhale"

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

11 posted 2004-01-27 04:39 PM

Snow~
Sometimes the exhale leaves me breathless ... just as this tenderly written piece does~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

[email protected]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

12 posted 2004-01-27 04:41 PM

WOW!!....just WOW!!

~ Is that love I see in your eyes...
or merely a reflection of mine? ~

Ravenwolfvoyager
Member

since 2003-12-25

Posts 326

13 posted 2004-01-27 06:10 PM

but i don't show each layer easily. it's my defense. it's how i can write about myself (at times) and still keep the poem grey enough for the reader to see him/herself.. at least i hope so.

One thing that isn't grey is your wonderful talent. You write so well and I see the layering that you do which is a wonderful gift that you give to the reader. Thank you.

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