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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2004-03-11 11:06 PM

i am
the moon
forlorn
veiled
in thoughts
caught
between
dusk and dawn
white
tap of brush
bare
a touch
on canvas
eye
of sky
beholds
setting sun
i wait
baited breath
a voyeur
on the spectacle
above
she drowns
in cries
she dies
in living color
nightly
primadonna
glorious
she bleeds
for love
her demise
i rise
at
center stage
i am
the moon
forlorn
i come
alive
the sun
must die

dingusjr
Member

since 2003-09-24

Posts 415
Missouri

1 posted 2004-03-11 11:27 PM

YES! Very much enjoyed this...and the way
the codependency of lines works.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-03-11 11:29 PM

Love it

Yes great

dave

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2004-03-11 11:29 PM

a touch
on canvas
eye
of sky
beholds
setting sun
i wait
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loved this moment, in awe~

Oh girlie, you're so real,
and just as pretty~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-03-12 02:37 AM

oh now this is awesome!

bklynboy
Senior Member

since 2002-12-15

Posts 660
florida

5 posted 2004-03-12 03:26 PM

needed to read it and reread it several times to see how really good it is

bklynboy
Senior Member

since 2002-12-15

Posts 660
florida

6 posted 2004-03-20 08:03 AM

This is pretty good....dont understand why it hasnt received more replies????

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

7 posted 2004-03-20 08:14 AM

Very good writing..your mind is sharp and agile...
Thank you..

Goldnenrose.

''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity''

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

8 posted 2004-03-20 08:17 AM

ahhhhhhh very nice

Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

9 posted 2004-03-20 09:50 AM

^*-*^*-*^*-*^*-*^*-*^

"veiled in thoughts
caught
between dusk and dawn"

^*-*^*-*^*-*^*-*^*-*^

I thought that this was truly magnificent. The way in which you use imagery is wonderful.
The tone of your words depict the notion of the poem and you communicate your thoughts brilliantly.

Well done, I really enjoyed this.

^*-*^*-*^*-*^*-*^*-*^

^*Kimberley*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

10 posted 2004-03-20 09:54 AM

Love the title.......especially after the read.

Good work!

Eric

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

11 posted 2004-03-20 11:26 AM

thanks for reading
and u bboy, are a sweetheart

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