staggered breath (an Edder/Snow dance)

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Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2004-03-11 07:07 PM

staggered breath

staggered breath
in a two-way
collision
hanging

in rhythm
of a frozen
heartbeat's
death
   swaying
in singsong
  slashing

over & across
the heart
  i gave you

under the eyes
of a blood_moon's
cry
  where hand to hand
one breath
  for two

courage was found
'tween fingers & souls
bound
   where whispers laced
a dreamer's promise
  with
a season's kiss

©Ed&Snow '04

"yet each man kills the thing he loves
by each let this be heard,
some do it with a bitter look,
some with a flattering word"
oscar wilde

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2004-03-11 07:14 PM

over & across
the heart
  i gave you

under the eyes
of a blood_moon's
cry
  where hand to hand
one breath
  for two

======================

great lines and intensity in this...
cool title as well.
great duet two step poets.

I am sure of my reasons, embracing the seasons,
and the sacred simplicity of you at my side.

Vienna Teng

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2004-03-11 07:23 PM

Smooth blending of ink here..lovely.
Very much enjoyed.
Hugs~

Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding wound
...or a smiling mouth.

~ Kahlil Gibran

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

3 posted 2004-03-11 08:07 PM

you two are passionate dancers indeed!
ah, how could i fault this?
i just know everytime i see those two names together theres going to be something *WOWing*

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

4 posted 2004-03-11 09:18 PM

you're giving me way too much credit here...all i did was step on your toes a couple of times.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

5 posted 2004-03-11 11:15 PM

very nice indeed. enjoyed. Chris

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows.
For love is the beauty of the soul.
~St. Augustine

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

6 posted 2004-03-11 11:16 PM

lovely you two...

~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

7 posted 2004-03-11 11:44 PM

now i know you heard the rumors around the "castle" about my shoes.. do i seem like the type that would let you step on them? *smirk*
i'd dance with you again, anytime. :-D

thank you ALL so much for the great comments!!

"yet each man kills the thing he loves
by each let this be heard,
some do it with a bitter look,
some with a flattering word"
oscar wilde

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

8 posted 2004-03-16 10:28 AM

I'm not ready to let this one go yet Snow so back to the top of the list it goes for one more go-round. I read this before...but since I didn't post a reply because I was in one of my funky woe-is-me moments I think I will do so now and say. I LOVE THIS!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

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