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Open Poetry #31
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Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2004-03-11 07:07 PM



staggered breath

staggered breath
in a two-way
collision
hanging

in rhythm
of a frozen
heartbeat's
death
   swaying
in singsong
  slashing

over & across
the heart
  i gave you

under the eyes
of a blood_moon's
cry
  where hand to hand
one breath
  for two

courage was found
'tween fingers & souls
bound
   where whispers laced
a dreamer's promise
  with
a season's kiss


©Ed&Snow '04

"yet each man kills the thing he loves
by each let this be heard,
some do it with a bitter look,
some with a flattering word"
oscar wilde

© Copyright 2004 Snow - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2004-03-11 07:14 PM


over & across
the heart
  i gave you

under the eyes
of a blood_moon's
cry
  where hand to hand
one breath
  for two

======================

great lines and intensity in this...
cool title as well.
great duet two step poets.

I am sure of my reasons, embracing the seasons,
and the sacred simplicity of you at my side.

Vienna Teng


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-03-11 07:23 PM


Smooth blending of ink here..lovely.
Very much enjoyed.
Hugs~

Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding wound
...or a smiling mouth.

         ~  Kahlil Gibran

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
3 posted 2004-03-11 08:07 PM


you two are passionate dancers indeed!
ah, how could i fault this?
i just know everytime i see those two names together theres going to be something *WOWing*

Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

4 posted 2004-03-11 09:18 PM


you're giving me way too much credit here...all i did was step on your toes a couple of times.
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2004-03-11 11:15 PM


very nice indeed. enjoyed. Chris

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows.
For love is the beauty of the soul.
                ~St. Augustine



    

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
6 posted 2004-03-11 11:16 PM


lovely you two...

~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~

Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
7 posted 2004-03-11 11:44 PM


now i know you heard the rumors around the "castle" about my shoes.. do i seem like the type that would let you step on them? *smirk*
i'd dance with you again, anytime. :-D


thank you ALL so much for the great comments!!

"yet each man kills the thing he loves
by each let this be heard,
some do it with a bitter look,
some with a flattering word"
oscar wilde

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

8 posted 2004-03-16 10:28 AM


I'm not ready to let this one go yet Snow so back to the top of the list it goes for one more go-round. I read this before...but since I didn't post a reply because I was in one of my funky woe-is-me moments I think I will do so now and say. I LOVE THIS!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

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