Open Poetry #31 |
Tide's Taking |
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
On that hot summer's day When even breathing became a bothersome chore.. and cotton shift dresses hung limp on the wash line, Reminding me of wallflowers at a sweaty gymnasium highschool dance... Overlooked. Squinting from sun's glare I saw sailing vessels Like unused hammocks cradled in the still harbour. No wind, no breeze No lift of white canvas. Oil paintings. Icecream melted and dripped down my wrist taking my pulse... still there. Mint chocolate chip decorating my sandals.. Flamingo pink polish. Vacation colours. On that day, I capsized. Washed out to sea by the tidal wave in his hypnotic, azure eyes. The current relentless. Bashing my heart against his damp denim shirt that clung to him- embraced him. Swirling round in liquid circles, my senses dove and surfaced. Dolphin dreams. I gasped for air. Air that was thick with August heat and sand-sugared Coppertone. On that day .. a day of days... with the turning of the tide, I gave in - breathed out, and drowned in the cool, blue ocean of You. . . Chris Barker February 2004 ~~~~ |
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© Copyright 2004 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
incredible Chris. Your best ever...this was so cool. LIBRARY |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"On that day, I capsized. Washed out to sea by the tidal wave in his hypnotic, azure eyes. The current relentless. Bashing my heart against his damp denim shirt that clung to him- embraced him." Dang Chris!! WHOOOHOOOO!! As Donna says...this is YOU at your best!! Wow! Who was this?? Come on... whisper his name to your big sister. Excellent imagery...love this keeper!! Still sitting here shaking my head..smiling at you. ~Miss and love ya, Teed~
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Donna & Nancylee, sweet ladies....I thankyou so much for reading my ramblings...and enjoying them! Hugs! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
so call me greedy, I want MORE of these! *w* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...dang... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Chris...please go ramble some more!!! |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Chris You have done what is hard to do in this poem....Made the words flow as if they rhymed... "On that hot summer's day When even breathing became a bothersome chore.. and cotton shift dresses hung limp on the wash line.." Excellent free verse....love it The entire poem is like this, rolling off my lips without a stutter... The message is also clear and beautiful, ends exactly where it should.. enjoyed _______ice ><> |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wow, thanks everyone! I didn't know whether to post this write or not. I am not too sure of myself lately..still...whatever. lol. |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Spectacular, absolutely incredible work... could read this stuff all day long! Grover. |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Okay, that’s it... I just pulled my clothes out of the dryer half wet, and hung them on a clothesline out back Unfortunately it’s raining... but I think that’s really beside the point... Chris, this was terrific! Among your best Which is saying a lot! Thanks for this It gave me a nice summer day to dream about And all the nice things that come along with it.. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Grover and Richy, thankyou both. Thoughts of summer have been on my mind alot recently. Winter has been too long. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Chris, you've taken your writing up a notch. And I join the others in hoping to read more like this. Wonderful! believe in what your heart feels... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou so much for the nice compliment scorpio. Very nice of you. hugs! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yay! Oh Chris, this is soooooo beautifully serene, sweet friend, God Bless You, I can't wait to be right there by the ocean in June, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chris, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Thoughts of summer and you-know-what! Wow, this is a fabulous write, I'm in awe. Ramble on, girl, we want more! Keeping it. ~K~ |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Noah & Kahlil, thankyou both & Hugs!! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
whew! nice... sigh |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
This was literally HOT...you could feel the heat....of the sun and love.....great snapshot of life..i enjoyed it a lot.... Thank you.... Goldenrose. ''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity'' |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Dixie & GR, I am happy that you enjoyed. Summer is just round the corner! Hugs! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Chris~ You have captured a bright and shining moment, and darn near made me melt! How very beautiful is this!!!! Oh so good, good poetess~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sounds familar....I think I've done this a few times...James |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
WOW...fantastic!!!! |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
this is incredible...chris i have always been one of your fans but this is the best ever !!!! h |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thanks to each and everyone of you. I am blushing at the lovely responses to this post. Big Hugs!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Squinting from sun's glare I saw sailing vessels Like unused hammocks cradled in the still harbour. No wind, no breeze No lift of white canvas. Oil paintings. Icecream melted and dripped down my wrist taking my pulse... still there. Mint chocolate chip decorating my sandals.. Flamingo pink polish. Vacation colours. On that day, I capsized. Washed out to sea by the tidal wave in his hypnotic, azure eyes. The current relentless. Bashing my heart against his damp denim shirt that clung to him- embraced him. Swirling round in liquid circles, my senses dove and surfaced. =================== Chris this is such a excellent style for your muse...the imagery and the intensity you created is first rate poetry...I agree this is one of your best..very cool (hot) write girl!! Like Emeril..youre kickin it up a notch *L* Through the water ... through the rain ... to the soul of everything |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Janet Marie, I am honoured that you took the time to read and comment..thankyou so much. |
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