Open Poetry #31 |
Awakened |
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Caught by the rumble strips Awakened by their vibes, I looked eastward at the red-orange punctured night torn open by enthusiastic D.J. exercising vibrant wavelengths admidst waking sky. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
like this visual/scene setting.. my only suggestion would be to not perhaps repeat the word punctured... very nice blending of the physical and the personal in your piece... I enjoyed |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Capt., Good morning! I agree-too much repetition. I changed it, but still am searching for a better word. Thanks for your valued input. Sadie |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Made me think of my favorite love songs, and how they ignite past memories. Nicely done Sadelite~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Sunrise and the music on the alarm clock, right? Liked this. |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
A modern day jungle beat of the drums Signalling the local gathering... Very Nice Sadie! Your poem resonates! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sadie~ This one rings my bells~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I hardly ever see the sunrises, but I do see the sunsets every evening...splendid write |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
If this didn't remind me of hearing the music from my alarm clock at crazy hours of the morning then I'd enjoy it much more lol! This is good Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Thank you everyone for the comments. Yes, those rumble strips on the interstate and the D.J. tend to greet me pretty early. They do sound like modern day jungle beats--Richy is right! Thanks for reading and commenting. Have a great day. ~Sadie |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is quite a vision! the red-orange punctured night torn open by enthusiastic D.J. Very good write! Love, Margherita |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yay! May God's jukebox pump up the horizons with robin songs of spring serenity, yay, God Bless You, I love this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sadelite, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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Death Member
since 2001-05-26
Posts 112Twilight |
"rumble strips" indeed the clocks alarm is set for each as need to be yet perforce adjustable corporeal form demands the sligtest bit norm difficult to expand minimalish yet you have accomplished such therefore, my compliments "Sooner or later, Death makes a believer out of just about everyone." |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Margherita, I'm glad you liked the poem. It was written with a beautiful sunrise. Thanks for reading. Sadie |
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