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Taxi Stand Romance
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Taxi Stand Romance |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving 
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green light flashing.. go...go...go dont let the traffic stop you from dancing across that asphalt ballroom. sirens wailing sobbing for you as you walk the white line traced with chalk, like a victim of taxi stand romance. pay-as-you-go go-the-short-distance then drop you off somewhere less than fair. always the passenger peering out the window at the sidewalks flying by, flying higher than you'll ever be, but its better than walking or being walked on. and the miles keep clicking over like seconds weighted with pennies and when my pockets empty he'll find another ride and i'll be left to hitchhiking or hijacking yet another romance. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Raw and with an edge that says there's more. Very well done! Thanks. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
muted Nothing mute about this, enjoyed. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Great rhythm in this write! Enjoyed. Love, Margherita |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh my, this is good. I like the energy and the alliteration, and doggone it, I like the poem! Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
VERY nice metaphor. I like this one a lot - shows the not-so-pretty side of love and concrete (love "asphalt ballroom"). Look at the bright side - sometimes just the ride can be fun, even if it does eventually end.  C |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
You know Dawn, you’re right. Life really can be like one big cab ride Sometimes you get stuck in a rut Other times, every light seems to be green Sometimes the price seems exorbitant Other times, it’s more then fare Sometimes we share a ride with others Other times, we’re alone Sometimes there’s miscommunication, and we end up in a place we don’t want to be And still other times, we end up discovering a whole new place, we never knew existed All in all, there’s a lot of miles to travel in one lifetime. And we just have to be careful, to not be taken, on too many rides... Sorry... didn’t mean to blather... Oh heck who am I trying to kid? That’s all, I ever do... lol  I hope your having a wonderful day Dawn! Thanks for the ride! Next time, it’s on me  |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
icebox: its very nice to have you come read and comment on my poem...thank you! S.T.: thank you for coming as well, your words are much appreciated! Margherita: thank you for all the visits you make to my poems, i dont tell you thank you enough! Pilgrimage:  oh dear, thank you! it means alot hearing that from you!Christopher: it also means so much to have you come and comment too, and yes, you are right, sometimes the ride is fun...even if its going to end! Richy: its ok when you blather because you made a ton of good points, but by reading your poetry lately you appear to be VERY in love...so easy for you to see the bright side! i spent most of valentines alone! no hugs for me LOL..but, you are a very good friend to me..and i would appreciate that ride next time you come past!  thanks buddy |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
an awesome piece! |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Dawn, Wow!! You are really moving here, but not too fast to pick up the ride....right on the edge of emotion and motion, raw, strong.... Your passions rage beautifully, and I'm glad to see your Muse flowing here....Did you say "no hugs?"......Well,  ~P |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
What a great comparison!!!! Excellent writing.Youngatheart |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
This is very well written... superb! Grover. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Love this, Dawn!! Very good writing!!  Hugs Ethel |
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S Arthur Grey Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719woven by a poet's loom |
Somehow I was expecting the yellow caution light and then the red one. Oh, well, maybe next time? |
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