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Beside Me
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Beside Me |
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Strider612 Junior Member
since 2003-12-21
Posts 46Alabama, United States of America |
The way the lights sparkle in her eyes, Her soft brown hair on her shoulders, That soothing voice I know so well, It makes me want to love her and hold her. Her whole face is alive, Almost shining like the sun. So elegant and yet so simple, Glamour and modesty merged into one. Just being in the air she breathes Makes my love struck heart melt. Her fragrance fills my heart with light Sensations come to me in ways I’ve never felt. I say, “You’re pretty,” and all she does Is smile, and maybe, nod her head at me. If she doesn’t know it, too, I’ll never know how, But she accepts my words politely, with dignity. It’s so hard to speak around her and tell all, But it’s worth it every time to make her smile. If I know that I have pleased her, I’m glad. Her radiance may keep me at peace for a while. She really is pretty, and soft and fair, as well. How am I so lucky to be here by her side? Just a glance from that queen and I break in pieces. Her face is the moon, and my love will be her tide. With a word she can still me, I’ll do whatever is her desire. If there is anything at all that she wishes from me, My loving heart will acquire. She accepts it with grace and strength and wisdom. She is gentle in her dealings and kind. She’s a princess, beautiful in my eyes With a clever, caring, well-trained mind. Her breath steals mine; her eyes hold mine. I understand that she and I may never be, But I’m glad for a that moment in time when I know I have that dear angel beside me. [This message has been edited by Strider612 (03-18-2004 09:22 PM).] |
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drummerboy678 Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134 |
Strider- Not bad. This is a real mixture though... It's got some really good lines: -Just a glance from that queen and I break in pieces. -Glamour and modesty merged into one. And then some lines using the most cliched metaphors one can think of: -The way the lights sparkle in her eyes, -Almost shining like the sun. I like the poem though. Poems on love are hard to write about, because this universal feeling has been described so well by poets, so its hard to think of new ways. Try to remove some of the cliched lines and get some more creative ones. Great start though. |
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