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Teen Poetry #7
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| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Stranger |
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SixtiesChick03 Junior Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 49NV |
Surrounded by outsiders, Losing myself in unfamiliarity Hoping to see a face I remember, Totally lost and vulnerable… But then I realize That the only one Unfamiliar is, The real me, the only outsider… A wall surrounds my heart, Not letting anyone in, Or anything out… Not showing anyone what’s inside, Only the wall Made of smiles, laughter… But inside is The real me, fragile and brittle… In my room, In my privacy, In my refuge, Is the only place to let down My mask… My wall… My shield from the real world… My friends don’t know me My best friends wouldn’t recognize me, Only my enemies know me, The real me… The one full of fear and hurt, The one with the tarnished soul, The real me is a stranger to them… Everyone has their masks, Their alias, Pretending to be someone else, They’re not. Mines is the one you see everyday, The smiles, the laughter, the alias. The real me is utterly different. Surrounded by outsiders, By strangers, I’m losing my sense of belonging, I’m losing myself in unfamiliarity But then I realize That the only one Unfamiliar is, The real me… |
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| © Copyright 2004 Sharlene - All Rights Reserved | |||
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
This poem was REALLY good! I'm a little speechless right now espically since I can relate to this poem for the most part. Good work! ~Jess  "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
I agree 100% with jess up there. This poem was so good im in awe. It leaves me remembering of a time I once felt like that. Once again good write! Im a child. |
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drummerboy678 Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134 |
SC- This one didn't do much for me. It seemed like you stated your point in the first stanza, and then repeated it through the rest of the poem, never coming up with anything new. The "real me" is cliched, and "masks". Try to think of something new, that no one has never heard of. Also, I didn't really find this stanza to make much sense; My friends don’t know me My best friends wouldn’t recognize me, Only my enemies know me, The real me… The one full of fear and hurt, The one with the tarnished soul, The real me is a stranger to them… It seems to be contradicting itself. I dont understand why your enemies would know you. Anyways, not bad, but I think you could fix some things. Good job though |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
i like this. i can relate. it seemed more like you letting it out without control. and it made it unique. *karissa* I ask why, but in my mind, |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hmm very confusing....but nice right...i can relate to it as well...but still very confusing x0x0 |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
can relate. good job. very spaced out but that doesnt change the writing. magnific!  Jessica |
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